


A Moonlight Sonata

by tresespada



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Miraxus, NaLi - Freeform, Sex Stuff, Teenage Pregnancy, Underage Drinking, jerza - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2018-12-04 09:52:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11552694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tresespada/pseuds/tresespada
Summary: It's an important year for the Strauss siblings. Lisanna has tested out of her grade, Elf's getting a free ride, and Mirajane is trying to keep a secret from everyone but Laxus. A year has passed since the murder of their parents with no breakthroughs or progress. Everything seems to be bending to the point of an ugly break.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tagged warnings apply.
> 
> In this AU Elfman is the oldest sibling. He is seventeen, Mirajane is sixteen, and Lisanna is fourteen.

            Simon had shot up twelve inches easy over the last year and, despite his new height, he wasn't any less awkward than he had been in middle school. He probably didn't intend to leer at Erza but that’s how it looked from the outside. Jellal could tell Simon annoyed her but it would make her even angrier if he swooped in to piss on her leg. So Jellal hung back and divided his attention between Erza and the soccer ball at his feet.

            He'd always been a fast runner but his skills with the ball set him apart and earned him a place on the varsity team as a freshman – which was unheard of given the caliber of athletes already on the roster. Jellal didn't often play in the games but he was more than content to earn his way off second string by showing up to every practice and working hard. As a sophomore, he had enough rapport for his coach to promise him both exhibition games once the pre-season started in November.

            “You smell nice.” Erza’s voice over his shoulder startled him. She rose up on her toes and pressed a kiss to the side of his neck.

            “Practice was over twenty minutes ago.” He spun around and fit his hands on her hips. “I've already showered.” She let him press her against the wall of the hallway and laughed softly when his tongue flicked out to taste the edge of her shoulder that disappeared under her collar. “You smell _fantastic,”_ Jellal groaned.

            “I smell like sweat.”

            “It's perfect.” His fingers slid over her hip and hooked into the waistband of her shorts. _God_ he loved her volleyball shorts. Nobody wore them like Erza as far as he was concerned.

            “I should shower, too,” Erza whispered. “My mom's gonna be home for dinner tonight and I –” Her words stopped being words when Jellal's lips brushed over her cheek.

            “I can't come over today?” he asked between kisses and nips at her lower lip.

            “Jellal,” she breathed. “You _know_ you can't. It's a _Thursday_.” Erza suddenly pushed him away and grabbed his hand. She peeked around the corner before dragging him further down the hallway to one of the storage rooms – this one smelled of dusty leather and grass. Once the door clicked shut behind them, she grabbed handfuls of his shirt and yanked him against her.

            Jellal grinned as she pulled his t-shirt over his head and ran her hands over his chest. He went for her shorts but on their way down, they caught on the kneepads still loose around her ankles. Erza swore in frustration. Jellal laughed and guided her back toward the tall stack of gym mats. He lifted her easily to the stack and pulled one leg of her shorts over the kneepad and shoe.

            “Come here,” Erza whispered as her hand slipped beyond the elastic waistband of his pants and her fingers closed around his hardening erection. Her thumb swiped over the head with practiced skill. Jellal slid her backside to the very edge of the mats and grabbed her wrist. He dropped a kiss on the crook of her elbow before wrapping her thighs around him and taking her lips. The wetness between her legs pressed against his belly and the tip of him – and everything came to a screeching halt.

            “Erza –” he gasped. “I forgot the condoms in my car.”

            _“What?”_ she hissed, her eyes fluttering open. “Are you serious?”

            “I'm sorry.”

            Erza's glare was deadly. “You can't just... pull out? Like just this one time?”

            “Did your mom take you to the doctor yet?”

            “Not until tomorrow –”

            “Then we can't do this.”

            “Oh, come _on!_ I've had _a day,_ Jellal! I need this!”

            “Neither one of us needs a baby, though.” Jellal's forehead dropped to her shoulder and he tried to even out his breaths. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ Erza huffed and began to wriggle. He suddenly smiled and kissed her neck again.

            “Stop that, you'll just make this worse than it already is,” she griped.

            “Maybe I can't fuck you in this room but I can help you out.” Jellal's tongue brushed over her bottom lip as his fingers slid between her legs. Erza jumped but her grip on his shoulders didn't lessen. He worked her in slow circles before dipping inside. _Goddamn_ she was so wet and _hot._ His erection was back and pressing against her thigh. Erza's breaths came deep and slow.

            “Just there –” she whispered in a pitch he recognized. Jellal's thumb finished what his fingers started and she came with a wet press of her lips against his.

            “Better?” he asked, kissing the corner of her mouth.

            “I suppose it'll do until you can be bothered to remember the condoms.” Erza smiled and pushed him back to slide off the stack of mats. She pulled her shorts back on and hesitated for a moment before sliding her kneepads up as well.

            “What are you doing?”

            “Making use of the school issue athletic equipment, Jellal.” She leaned into him and left kisses on his neck, shoulder and chest as she dropped to her padded knees.

            _“Fuck,”_ he whispered when her lips closed around him.

* * *

 

            Laxus tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel and tried to think about _anything_ else. He flipped on the radio. Baseball stats crackled and reminded him that his reception was garbage on this side of town.

            “Damn it,” he muttered poking the scan button. More fuzz and crackling. He was too distracted to notice Mirajane exit the bathrooms and jumped when she slid back into the passenger seat. Laxus switched the radio off. His throat felt dry as dust.

            “Well?”

            Mirajane stared straight ahead. She didn't blink or fidget. He noticed that the edge of her cheerleading uniform had caught under her thigh in a wad.

            _“Mira?”_ he said much softer. As if noticing him for the first time, Mirajane turned her head.

            “I'm pregnant,” she whispered. Laxus's eyes slid shut and his head fell backward against the seat rest. “I'm sorry.” He could hear the tears in her voice but the voice in his head – the old, cranky one of his grandpa – drowned her out. She didn't seem to notice. “I can't believe I have to deal with this on top of _everything else!_ ” she sobbed. “This was supposed to be the year we got it right!”

            Laxus snapped out of his reverie. Mirajane's tears leaked down her face and it terrified him. She wasn't a crier.

            “Lisanna tested out of middle school and Elf got that scholarship!”

            “Mira –”

            _“And I got pregnant!”_ She sniffled and messily wiped her tears on her palms. “Mom would be so proud.”

            “We have options, Mira,” Laxus whispered. Her head whipped around and her silver ponytail came with it.

            “Are you serious? In a town like this? My only _option_ is to become a teenage mother, Laxus!” She slumped back against the seat and kicked her leg up to balance her foot on the dash. “God, I'm going to be a waitress forever.”

            “It doesn't have to be like that!”

            Mirajane's dark blue eyes were stuck on the world beyond the window glass. “Take me home, Laxus, I need to get started on dinner and I work graveyard tonight at the truck stop.”

            “Sure.” The word nearly caught in his throat but he managed.

            Laxus dropped Mirajane off in front of the house she shared with her siblings. The yard needed mowing and the decorative brackets on the gabled roof were far beyond disrepair. Mirajane didn't wish him a goodnight and as he watched her go the plastic ends of her pompoms poking from her cheerleading bag fluttered in the early autumn breeze.

* * *

 

            “So you're finally catching up, huh?” Natsu asked with a grin. Lisanna laughed and relaxed back into his side.

            “It's not catching up when you're a year older than me, Natsu. Technically, I'm ahead of you.”

            “Yeah, yeah.” He tugged gently on her mess of a ponytail. Her hair wasn't quite long enough for it but even in early September the heat still clung. “When do you start?”

            “Monday, I guess. Mirajane is supposed to come to my school tomorrow and sign me out and enroll me at the high school.”

            “Do you know what your classes will be?”

            “Not all of them. I just know they’re all advanced placement.”

            “So,” Natsu drawled. “We won't have any of the same classes, then.” Lisanna laughed and pinched his arm.

            “Are you saying you'll miss me?”

            “If you don't know that by now then I don't know what to tell you.” She smiled up at him and the gaze lingered. That had been happening a lot lately and Lisanna kept waiting for Natsu to turn the moments into something else – but he never did. Today he simply pressed his cheek to her hair and sighed. She didn't mind waiting for him to figure it out.

            They parted ways at sunset and Lisanna took a shortcut through park that separated what was considered the _nice_ part of the neighborhood and the street she'd lived on since... well since they'd still had parents. For better or for worse, the social worker had shuffled papers long enough for Elfman to turn seventeen and take custody of Lisanna. He’d be leaving at the end of the school year on a full ride to a military academy upstate. She didn’t understand all the details but she knew Mirajane needed to transfer custody to herself immediately after her own birthday in December or Elfman couldn’t take the scholarship. Something about _obligations_ and _encumberment._

            Most of the lamps in the park were functional but a few were not. Lisanna avoided the patches of shadow. As she crossed a necessary stretch of darkness, a low whistle came from the playground. She gasped and the sound of laughter set her hair on end. Lisanna raced the rest of the way home.

            Mirajane was already in her work uniform, which, Lisanna noted, didn't look quite as polished as usual.

            “Sorry I'm late,” she muttered, leaving her backpack on the couch to join her sister in the kitchen.

            “Hm?”

            “I'm late.”

            “You're _what?”_ Mirajane dropped the spatula into the pan of spaghetti sauce and whirled around to face Lisanna.

            “I'm late. The sun went down quicker than usual. I always forget that happens in the fall.”

            Mirajane blinked and bit her lip. Her eyes bounced off Lisanna's face and the table and all of the walls before she turned back to the pan and fished out the spatula.

            “Are you okay?” Lisanna asked.

            “I'm fine. Were you with Natsu? Did he walk you home?”

            “No, I met him at the high school earlier. I walked home on my own. I was already late so I cut thro...” Lisanna trailed off quickly and opened the cupboards for plates.

            “You cut through the park?” Mirajane whispered. “ _Goddamn it,_ Lisanna, I've told you never, _ever_ wander through that park at night!”

            “It was fine.” She tried to blow off her sister's anger but the guilt stung. Mirajane wasn't in the wrong.

            “It's _not_ fine!” Mirajane screeched. “If you think for one second I'm going to loose anyone else to that fucking gang-magnet of a shit hole park –”

            “You can't blame the park for what happened to mom and dad!” Lisanna shot back, suddenly in a fighting mood.

            “You are such a _child_ sometimes!” Mirajane's grip around the spatula tightened and spaghetti sauce dripped over her fingers and down her arm. “It's like you don't even care!”

            _“Excuse me?”_ Lisanna felt her feathers ruffling and against her better judgment she took a step toward her sister. Before she could get any closer, though, a hand settled on her shoulder.

            “Stop.” Elfman's voice was low and soft. Mirajane visibly swallowed her words as he stepped between them and pried the spatula from her fingers. He deposited it in the sink, selected a new one from the drawer and took the plates from Lisanna. “I'm hungry and Mira'll be late.”

            Mirajane spun around to the sink and washed the spaghetti sauce from her hands. She said nothing more as she grabbed her bag and left them alone in the kitchen. Lisanna didn't relax until she heard the car start and watched the headlights back out of the driveway.

            “She's crazy,” Lisanna whispered. “I'm _not_ a child.”

            “You _are,”_ Elfman corrected. “To her you _are._ Don't cut through the park at night.”

            “But –” Elfman's eyes were a deeper blue than Mirajane's. They betrayed every feeling he ever had even when he said absolutely nothing. “I'm sorry.”

            “Don't be. Just stay out of the park at night and give her a break. She's trying to be mom.”

            “She doesn't need to be.” Lisanna filled her plate with too many noodles and not enough sauce – it was perfect.

            “She thinks she does, though. Just let her do what she thinks she needs to do.”

            “Okay.” Elfman grinned at her and polished off his plate. He washed it, dried it, and returned it to the cupboard. On his way out of the kitchen he grinned at her and took several slices of garlic bread. “I’ve got some homework. This year's real important for us.”

            Lisanna sat alone in the kitchen and picked at her dinner. “Yeah,” she whispered bitterly. _“Real_ important.”


	2. Chapter 2

            “Lisanna!” Erza’s voice drew Mirajane from her mud puddle of thoughts. She swept around the side of the desk and snatched the slip of paper from Lisanna’s hand. Mirajane bristled for no real reason. “Ooh, it looks like you’ll be in a bunch of Jellal’s classes. Watch out or you’ll be at the nerd table for lunch.”

            “She’ll be fine,” Mirajane snapped, taking Lisanna’s schedule back and smoothing it on the surface of the desk.

            “I think if the nerd standard in high school is Jellal, I don’t know that it’ll be so bad to sit at their table.” Lisanna and Erza’s laughter echoed in Mirajane’s head like pennies in a tin can. Their boy-related chatter pissed her off when it shouldn’t have. _Of course_ Lisanna had an eye for boys now. She was fourteen and pretty and friendly and… and… Mirajane’s anger flared.

            “We should go,” she said curtly.

            “Go where?” Erza shook her head. “It’s my job to give her the tour. You’re late for practice, Mira. Just go. I’ll handle it.”

            “She’s _my_ sister.”

            “What’s your problem?” Erza asked, reaching for the schedule. “You know how this works.”

            Mirajane sucked in a deep breath and opened her mouth to snap back with a retort but realized both Erza and Lisanna were staring at her oddly. She supposed she deserved it. With a _great_ amount of effort Mirajane swallowed the barbs and smiled.

            “You’re right. Sorry. I’m a grouch today.”

            “Only today?” Lisanna muttered.

            “Too many extra shifts, I guess. I’ll see you later, Lisanna. You’re going to do great.” She reached for her sister’s hand and squeezed it lightly before whirling around and leaving them both behind in the office.

            The hallways were empty and her athletic shoes hardly made any sound at all on the linoleum. Mirajane made it halfway to the gym before her anxiety twisted into nausea. She ducked into the bathrooms and dashed to the closest stall. Her breakfast had only been buttered toast but Mirajane still felt hollowed out. Dry heaves turned to tears and she flushed away her breakfast before perching on the edge of the seat. To her dismay, the stall was devoid of toilet paper.

            “Of course,” she sobbed. Mirajane swiped at her tears and stood. She dropped her bag in front of the row of sinks. Without looking up at the mirrors, she bent over to wash her face and rinse her mouth. Never in her life had she been more grateful for her obsessive hygiene habits – Mirajane had not one but _two_ toothbrushes in her athletics bag.

            With a mouth tasting of baking soda toothpaste and a face still dripping with water, she stood straight and met her own gaze in the mirror. Her neck was splotchy. Her eyebrows too thin and her cheeks too pale.

            “You look sick,” a voice behind her said gruffly. Mirajane spun around and scowled.

            “This is a _girls_ bathroom, Laxus. You aren’t allowed.”

            “I saw you run in here and when you didn’t come back out I got worried. You okay?”

            “No,” she snapped. “I’m fucking pregnant.”

            Laxus’s expression fell and he stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Sorry.”

            Mirajane sighed and leaned against the porcelain sink that poked from the wall. She reached for her bag but straightened again when her stomach turned.

            “Here.” Laxus pushed off the wall and grabbed the bag. He held it open for her as she tucked away her toothbrush and toothpaste. She let him zip everything closed and settle the strap over her shoulder. “I don’t know what to do.”

            “Join the club.” The words came out more harshly than she’d imagined them but Mirajane was past caring about Laxus’s struggle with ineptitude. _She_ was the pregnant one. _She_ was the one who’d shoulder the social fall out of a fucking _baby_ at _sixteen._ In less than a year Laxus would graduate and be beyond the clutches of high school social politics. She tried to shove past him but his grasp on her shoulders was firm.

            “I have a job already, Mira. We won’t…” He pursed his lips when her scowl didn’t go away. “This isn’t the end of the world.”

            “Not for _you,”_ she hissed. _“Never_ for the guy. I’m the one taking all the shit and risks.”

            “Mira –”

            “Just fuck off, Laxus.” She pushed him away and made for the door. “Don’t call me. I’ll… I’ll call you. I need space.”

            Mirajane thought he said something else but she didn’t quite catch it.

* * *

 

            Lisanna jumped when a boy she thought she recognized but wasn’t sure plopped into the seat directly across from Jellal. The tension at the table was the silent, creeping kind. She recognized it as the kind of stifling silence that kept Natsu and his brother in separate universes despite living in the same house.

            “Calling dibs on the new girl already, Fernandes?”

            “Can I help you, Simon?” Jellal muttered, not glancing up from the open laptop and the mess of papers between himself and Lisanna.

            _Simon, Simon, Simon…_ Lisanna wracked her brain trying to figure out how she couldn’t remember a boy so large and imposing.

            “Just making sure you’re not over here lining them up.”

            “Fuck off,” Jellal’s words were in the same nonchalant tone but he tapped the keys of his laptop just a little too roughly.

            “I’m Lisanna,” she cut in with a fake brightness.

            “Mirajane’s little sister, yeah, I know.” The boy smiled and Lisanna thought it just as fake as her friendliness. “You were in sixth grade when I was eighth. Simon Mikazuchi.”

            Lisanna’s eyes widened. “Wow, you got kinda big!” she blurted, instantly feeling immature and stupid. Simon, however, _preened._

            “I took an All State title in wrestling last year.” His eyes slid back over to Jellal. “I wasn’t riding the bench all year like Fernandes here.”

            “Better to ride the varsity bench then have to brag about a JV title nobody gives a fuck about.” Jellal’s words were barely audible and Lisanna felt very much like this was a conversation everyone else had a script for but her. She bit her lip anxiously. Jellal finally glanced up at her and then turned a bland expression on Simon. “Was there something you needed? We’re kind of busy.”

            “Just saying hi.” Simon stood and the chair he’d been sitting in tumped over. He didn’t rectify it. The chair was still on its back when he disappeared into the library stacks.

            “Is that really Simon Mikazuchi?” Lisanna whispered. “Did he stumble into some gamma radiation or something?”

            Jellal laughed and Lisanna blushed. His smile was softer than Natsu’s and she could understand why Erza loved it so much.

            “I think the color green would suit him pretty well.”

            “It’s the color of jealousy.”

            “Exactly.” Jellal capped his red pen and handed her worksheets back to her. “This is all good work, Lisanna. I think if we made time a few days every week you’ll be caught up pretty quick.”

            “You think so?”

            “Oh, yeah. You’re way ahead of where I was at your age. It’s pretty impressive, to be honest.”

            “I don’t want to intrude on your schedule. I know you’ve got sports and Erza and stuff.”

            “Don’t worry about it.” He shrugged and shut his laptop. “Just don’t forget me when you become the next Doctor Banner.”

            “I promise I’ll mention you in my published papers.”

            “Fair enough.” He smiled again and Lisanna could _not_ stop blushing. “Are you into comics? There’s a club that meets on Tuesdays, I think.”

            “Yeah, Natsu told me about that. I don’t know. Mirajane thinks I need to focus on studies.”

            “You can only cram so much stuff into your head before you need to release the pressure. I’m sure Natsu would take you home after the meetings.”

            Lisanna grimaced. “I think that would be the only way I’d be allowed to stay.”

            “Mirajane runs a tight ship, huh?”

            “She doesn’t like me at the park.”

            “Oh, right.” Jellal’s expression crumpled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean –”

            “It’s fine, Jellal. It’s been a year. Mira just doesn’t want me in the park after dark. Natsu is usually pretty good about getting me home on time.”

            “Well, think about it. I have soccer every day but Fridays. We can stay here in the library if you want or wherever. I can come to you, too, if you’re stuck at home. I don’t mind.”

            “You’re too nice.”

            He laughed and slid his laptop into a flat compartment in his bag. “Erza says I’m like Sugar Daddy chews. I lure you in with soft sweetness and then, before you know it, you’re teeth are stuck.”

            Lisanna’s face felt as if it might catch fire. Jellal laughed again and stood as the bell rang.

            “Just between you and me, Erza isn’t the best with delivering a joke or a pun.” Jellal ducked under the strap of his messenger bag and turned back to her. “You can sit with us at lunch if you want or…” He trailed off and raised an eyebrow.

            “Natsu said he’d meet me by the soda machines. He’s kind of excited about me being here.”

            “I believe it.” Jellal dug in the front pocket of his bag and tore off a slip of notebook paper. He scrawled his number in neat numerals and slid the paper across the table. “Text me later when you have a better idea of how your weeks will go. We’ll set up a time to study together.”

            “Okay.” Lisanna smiled and knew she was still pink in the cheeks. She couldn’t help it. Jellal was an older boy with a _perfect_ smile and _heartbreaking_ dimples and – Lisanna watched him weave through the tables toward the glass doors of the library – it wasn’t too bad to watch him go either. She sighed.

* * *

 

            Erza tapped her fork against her plate and scowled.

            “What is it?” Eileen asked dully.

            “I hate this stuff. Why can’t we have _normal_ food?”

            “Erza,” Eileen said in the nonnegotiable tone she always took when Erza questioned her – the one that made her so good at her job. “This is a perfectly good sauce. It’s dairy free and packed with appropriate protein for an athletic girl your age.”

            “It’s gross. Jellal’s mom –”

            “Jellal’s mom doesn’t work. I’m sure she has all day to whip up a flawless white sauce with imported cheese and wine.” Eileen dabbed at her lips with a napkin. “I spend one weekend a month shopping and prepping.”

            _“I_ can cook.”

            “Boxed macaroni and cheese isn’t a dietary building block.”

            Erza felt her mother’s eyes on her as she slumped in her chair already thinking of the bag of beef jerky and rolls of candy chews she kept in her bedside table drawer. When she glanced up she watched Eileen swirl the red wine in her glass.

            “How’s the year shaping up at school?”

            “Fine.”

            Eileen nodded and sighed. “I know you’re frustrated with me, Erza,” she said softly at a volume she rarely took. “These hours are brutal. But I have a real shot this year to get on the bench. We’d be set for life if I get that appointment.”

            “I know, mom.” Erza tried to smile. “I know you’re working hard. I just wonder when we won’t have to anymore. When will it stop?”

            “It won’t, love.” Eileen’s smile was painful. “This is the price we pay to be free of your father.”

            “He seems to be doing fine,” she murmured spitefully.

            “Does he still send you emails?”

            “Yeah.” Erza leaned forward and poked at her pasta and sauce again. “I wish he’d just go away. We both know he doesn’t care. He just wants to watch you trip up.”

            “This is what I mean, Erza. We _can’t_ trip up. We will shine the way we always do. You and me. Women have to work twice as hard and in a backwoods place like this –”

            “You’ll get that bench, mom,” Erza said firmly, straightening in her chair. “Fuck those good old boys and their stupid boys club. You deserve it more.”

            “I really do.” Eileen’s grin made Erza smile. “I saw one of the Heartfilias down at the courthouse today.”

            Erza quirked an eyebrow with interest.

            “Looks like Layla is back in town with that daughter of hers in tow.”

            “Lucy?” Erza whispered.

            “I didn’t have a chance to talk or see what was going on but I know the attorney with her today specializes in divorce. Maybe she finally left her husband.”

            “You get all the best gossip, mom.”

            “Government buildings are just as juicy as hair salons in a small town.” Eileen polished off her wine. “You don’t have to finish that if you don’t want to, Erza. I admit it didn’t freeze as well as I’d have liked.”

            Erza took one more bite and choked it down.

            “I know you have a drawer of snacks anyway.” Eileen grinned as she gathered the dirty dishes. “I’m going back to the office for a bit, okay?”

            “Okay.” Erza pulled her phone from her pocket and tapped out a quick text to Jellal. She tried to have her phone hidden when her mother returned for the glasses, but wasn’t quite fast enough.

            “Don’t forget to latch the window when he’s gone,” Eileen said smartly. “Maybe he’ll bring you a burger.”

            Erza flushed.

* * *

 

            Jellal took the cheeseburger wrapper and crumpled it before tossing it in the bag with her dirty napkins. He stretched out across her bed and reached for the folded over square of soft plastic on the side table. Eighteen pink pills were laid out in rows of seven. Two were already poked through the foil backing and the bottom row was plain white.

            “How long until these things are trustworthy?” He asked. Erza licked a glob of ketchup from her finger and sucked down half her bottle of water.

            “A month, I think?” She shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t read all the papers.”

            “Why not? This is kind of important.”

            “Because it’s a bunch of tiny print and it would take a week to get through it all. The important thing is that it’s ninety-nine percent effective.”

            “After how long, though?”

            Erza rolled her eyes and turned around to crawl over him. “It’s been two days, I’m sure that’s fine. We should still use condoms anyway, though. Just to be safe.”

            _“Finally!”_ he said, returning the pills to her side table. “Something you’ve said that doesn’t give me a panic attack.”

            “I was never worried.”

            “You _should_ be! My dad would have my head on a pole if you got pregnant.”

            “I _won’t.”_ Erza pulled off her shirt and reached behind her to tug at her bra clasp. Jellal’s fingers dug into her hips.

            “This week has been exhausting already. Did you know Lisanna was as smart as she is? I had no idea.”

            Erza tossed aside her bra and tugged at his belt buckle. “I don’t want to talk about Lisanna Strauss right now.” She paused at his zipper. “You _did_ bring the condoms, right?”

            “Yeah.” He shifted beneath her and Erza dug her fingers into his back pocket.

            “There’s _nothing_ in here, Jellal.”

            “Are you sure?” He awkwardly twisted and tried to pat down his pockets. “Damn… _damn!”_

            “Where is your head lately?” Erza demanded. She slid off him and fell to her back. Her head rolled to the side and watched as he bit his lip in thought.

            “You take the pills at the same time every day?”

            “Yeah.”

            “So technically we should be good, right?”

            “Technically.”

            “I could pull out.”

            “You could,” she agreed.

            Jellal sat up and kicked off his jeans. When he settled between her thighs Erza wrapped her arms around his neck. They’d never dared to try _anything_ but a quick handy in the back of his truck without a condom before. She liked his bare skin against her. Jellal had nothing to say but a groan she felt all the way in the tips of her toes.


	3. Chapter 3

            Laxus wiped the rag over his fingers but he thought maybe the oil stains were permanent. Everything felt that way lately. _Permanent._

            _“Just fuck off, Laxus!”_ Mirajane’s words stuck in his head the way burrs stuck in the fur of his grandpa’s old dog.

            “Fuckin’ dog,” he muttered, tossing the rag aside. “Fuckin’ _everything!”_ The dog whined from the corner of the garage. Laxus glanced back over his shoulder and beyond the yellow pool of overhead light. “Sorry, boy. It wasn’t personal.”

            Law chuffed and stretched. His paws and tail hung over the edges of the lump of fluff that used to be a chair cushion. It was nearly flat and almost just as old as Laxus.

            The sound of crunching gravel and the sweep of headlights cutting across the mostly darkened garage drew his attention from the open hood of his grandpa’s truck. Laxus squinted into the lights and tried not to clench his jaw. Only one person would have the nerve to visit so late.

            “Well, now,” Ivan Dreyar’s voice didn’t sound much different than the gravel his car had rolled over on its way up the property. “Isn’t it a little late for a school night?”

            “You knew I’d be up,” Laxus muttered, turning back to the guts of the truck. It was a lost cause but he couldn’t help it. The truck was the glue that held together his childhood.

            “Just checkin’ in, just checkin’ in.” Ivan’s eyes slid over the truck before settling on Law in the corner. “I see everything around here’s still alive and kicking. How’s the old man?”

            “Fine,” Laxus bit out.

            “Chatty as ever, I see.” Ivan leaned against the body of the truck and Laxus avoided the sidearm strapped to his father’s waist.

            “What do you want?”

            “I can’t pop in on my boy without the third degree?”

            Laxus snapped a little. He stood up straight – he was just as tall as Ivan now – and got right in his father’s face. The brown fabric of Ivan’s uniform top was still smooth and prim even after a long day.

            “No. Why are you here and what do you want?”

            Ivan sighed and pulled the matching brown hat from his head. “Heard you’d be graduating soon.” He paused and Laxus’s stomach twisted. He hated the feeling. Somehow after all these years of disappointment he still managed to have the capacity to _hope._ “You need anything? Money?”

            “I don’t need anything you’ve got.” His mind flit to Mirajane and the baby – _baby…_ he’d been trying to form the word in his head without cringing. “Get out of here.”

            “Come on, son,” Ivan pressed. “I’m tryin’ real hard here.”

            “You should’ve tried harder when I was younger and Gramps wasn’t sucking down pills.” Laxus felt the rage mounting. His hands curled into tight fists. “You should’ve tried harder when I was just a little kid waiting for you to come home.”

            “Laxus –”

            “Fuck off,” he growled, recycling Mirajane’s words from before.

            “What about that pretty girl of yours?” Ivan drawled. “She’s gonna want something someday and she might not like motor oil smeared all over it.”

            “Get out.”

            “Alright, alright.” Ivan fitted the brimmed hat back on his head. “Don’t say I never offered. You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

            Laxus watched Ivan duck back inside his car and pull a tight u-turn in the driveway. He half hoped the car would slide into the ditch. The lights mounted on the top of the squad car caught the low glow from the garage.

            _Red, blue, red, blue._

* * *

 

            Lisanna tapped her pen cap against her bottom lip and watched Natsu bob in between of the other boys on the court. Jellal’s notes held no real interest for her when Natsu was around. His plays were so erratic and he moved so _fast_ none of them had a chance. The muscles in his back flexed when he jumped up above the others to sink a basket. Natsu’s smile was bright and he appeared almost completely weightless. His shoulders never slumped when he was playing. She wished he could be so carefree all the time.

            A gust of wind ruffled the pages of her notebook and Lisanna sighed. Her eyes strayed to the playground on the other side of the park. A mother and her toddler played on the plastic slide and a boy and girl chased each other in a circle around the swings. In only an hour or two the shadows would fall and the souls that lurked in them would grow sharp, and dangerous, and _bold_. Sometimes she wondered if any of them still had flakes of her mother’s blood under their nails. Or bits of her father’s hair clinging to their jackets.

            Lisanna’s gaze stretched all the way past the playground to the street and tree line beyond. The tangle of trees and brambles that lined the north side of the neighborhood would eventually thicken into the wood that choked the mountain slopes.

            On the far side of the street was the only bus shelter on the north end of town. Twice a month a Greyhound coach would roll by the shelter and the truck stop down by the highway where Mirajane worked nights. The shelter was old and the fiberglass panels, cracked. Inside was a bench in similar disrepair. One of the support beams was missing on the back of it but the boy with midnight black hair lounged as if the other planks weren’t digging into his spine. He smoked his cigarette casually and Lisanna knew he didn’t see her at all. This particular boy only had eyes for Natsu. Lisanna bit the inside of her cheek until it hurt.

            “Hey,” Natsu cut into her thoughts and blocked her view of the boy in the bus shelter. He grabbed his t-shirt from beside her backpack and mopped his face and neck dry. “Did you see? I wiped the pavement with those guys!”

            “You always do,” she said, her smile inevitable. “You should play at school.”

            “Nah. That’s not a challenge.” He ran his hand through his messy hair. The spikes of pink stuck out even more than before.

            “Maybe not. But it might be fun to be in front of more people than just me.”

            “Are you kidding?” He said with a wide grin. “You’re the only audience I need, Lisanna!”

            She tried not to flush but found it to be just as inevitable as her smile. Natsu reached into her bag and pulled out one of her water bottles. His head fell backward as he sucked down mouthfuls of water. Lisanna leaned to the left and peered around his shoulder. The boy with the black hair had gone.

            “You want to come over for dinner tonight? Mira’s got the night off and Elf brought home some of the meat from the store. I guess the freezer leaked all over the floor and he got it on discount.”

            “Maybe.” Natsu crushed the water bottle and screwed the lid back on tighter than it needed to be. “I should run home first.”

            “You’ve got spare keys in my room,” she whispered. “For when he locks you out. Remember?”

            He stared hard at the crumpled plastic. “I know. I just need to make sure everything’s okay. Mom was on the couch this morning.”

            “Is she alright?”

            Natsu shrugged. “I just need to check.” He sighed and grinned at her again – but Lisanna had always been able to tell his real smiles from the fake. “I’ll just be a little bit, okay?”

            “Okay.” She tucked a strand of hair behind one ear and bit the end of her pen cap again. The basketball court was empty now. Shouts from the boy and girl on the playground still made everything feel normal. _Safe._ “I’ll wait for you here and then we can walk together.”

            “I’ll put a rush on it.” Natsu’s eyes lingered on hers in the way that made her heart thud and her stomach twist. “I promise.”

            “Go on, then. Hurry up or Mira will put you on the grill instead of the beef.”

            Natsu snatched the spent water bottle from the picnic tabletop and swung his legs over the bench. He jogged across the field and tossed the plastic into the bin on the far side of the park.

* * *

 

            He almost put his shirt back on but it was too dirty. Showing up to dinner with Lisanna and her family would be nice but he couldn’t do it in a dirty shirt. Natsu’s eyes fell to the haphazard pile of weeds by the rusted railing. He should’ve told Lisanna he just needed a clean shirt instead of blurting out that stuff about his mom. She had enough of her own junk to worry about without his junk, too.

            The television blared from inside the house and Natsu sucked in a deep breath. He took the steps two at a time and yanked open the screen door. The house smelled like cigarettes and Natsu’s heart sank. He’d like to _just once_ show up at a place not reeking of tobacco.

            “Natsu?” His mother’s voice cut him. It always did. She turned around on the couch to face him. Her eyes were wide and glassy, and her smile was sloppy. The mostly empty bottle of vodka on the low table in front of her cut him even more. “You’re home late.”

            “It’s not even six, mom,” he muttered, inching around the perimeter of the living room. “I’m going back out.”

            “I made dinner.” The words came from a mouth Natsu wasn’t in the mood for. Zeref’s cigarette smoke curled from between his fingers as he stood in the doorway that led to the kitchen. His eyes were flat black and sober – unlike their mother’s. “Get cleaned up.”

            “I’m going back out,” Natsu said again. He took another step toward his bedroom.

            “You got somewhere to be? Mom’s home.”

            “I made plans,” he hedged. Natsu avoided the watery gaze of his mother and spun on his heel. He charged down the short hallway and slut his bedroom door behind him. _“Fuck, fuck, fuck,”_ he whispered in a heavy breath.

            As quickly as possible, Natsu dug in the back of his tiny closet for the extra large sized sealable plastic bags he kept hidden. The clothes he washed at Lisanna’s house on Saturdays when Mirajane worked doubles were kept sealed off from the stench of his mother’s vodka and Zeref’s cigarettes. Natsu breathed a sigh of relief that he had _one_ clean, sweet smelling shirt left. He rolled the bag as thin as possible and stuffed it into the waistband of his pants before pulling on a clean white t-shirt.

            Natsu grabbed a stick of gum from his sock drawer, opened his bedroom door – and _froze_. Zeref blew a mouthful of smoke into his face.

            “Mom’s been in the tank for two days and you’re gonna bail on dinner?” he said in a tone Natsu knew better than to think was casual. “That’s rude.”

            “I told Lisanna I’d have dinner with her and her family.” Natsu tried to step around Zeref but his older brother was quick.

            “That’s not a good place for you.”

            Natsu’s jaw twitched. “If that’s true, then it’s _your_ fault.”

            Zeref’s mouth slid into a grin and Natsu’s heart skipped a painful beat. Before he could blink Zeref’s cigarette was bouncing on the matted green carpet and Natsu’s back slammed against the wall. He tried to avoid his brother’s eyes but couldn’t. They were black holes that ruined everything in their vicinity.

            “Things are the way they are,” Zeref whispered. The scent of smoldering carpet hit Natsu’s nose and he felt like retching. “Once you realize that, you’ll be happier. Stay the fuck away from that family. It’s no good for you or me.” Zeref’s gaze didn’t waver even though the smell of the carpet was overwhelming. “Or mom.”

            “Fuck you,” Natsu said with the last of his breath. He shoved Zeref off him and made sure to step on the cherry of the still burning cigarette before stalking through the house back to the door.

            He half expected Zeref to follow him. Natsu didn’t need to look back to know his brother had stayed behind the screen door. Even out of eyesight, Zeref could be _felt._

            The sky was bordering on twilight when Natsu found Lisanna still flipping through her notebook in the park. He slid the last button of his shirt through the loop and stuffed the empty plastic bag in his pocket. It crinkled but he ignored it. Using his last clean shirt on dinner with Lisanna instead of school would be worth it.

            “Hey, sorry that took so long.” She jumped and spun around on the bench. Natsu felt a stab of guilt. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

            “It’s fine.” Lisanna stood and returned her books to her backpack. “We should go, though.” He watched her glance at the empty playground and his heart twisted over on it self.

            “If Mira’s mad, I’ll take the heat. It’s my fault.”

            “It’s okay. Let’s just get out of here.” She slid her arms through the straps of her backpack and hesitated for only half a second before grabbing his hand. Her shoulder pressed into his as they crossed the park.

            Lisanna didn’t let go of his hand even once they’d cleared the stretch of land he knew sometimes haunted her dreams. Somewhere between the park behind them and her front porch, he slid his fingers between hers.

* * *

 

            A shadow settled over her locker and Erza tried to paint her face with a gracious smile – as gracious as she could be before the first bell, anyway. She’d never been a morning person.

            “You ready for the game tomorrow night?” Simon asked in a too-loud voice.

            “I guess,” Erza muttered.

            “You’re starting, right?”

            “Yep.” She pursed her lips and snatched the bottle of Tylenol she technically wasn’t allowed to have from the very top shelf of her locker.

            “You talk to Jellal this morning?”

            “No, why?”

            “Well, I guess he’s been a little distracted.”

            “What?” Erza huffed frustratedly. She twisted the cap off a water bottle and knocked back three of the pills.

            “Yeah, you know. Him and that little Strauss girl. They’ve been in the library all morning. He was at her house last night, too.”

            “Last night Jellal was with _me,”_ Erza snapped even though she knew it wasn’t exactly true. Jellal hadn’t been at her house since Sunday. “And the night before _that_ , too,” she added for good measure. Erza slammed her locker shut and turned to Simon. “What’s this about?”

            “Nothing.” Simon shrugged but his grin was smug. “He’s a busy guy, I guess.”

            Erza’s eyes narrowed and her head tilted to the right. She blinked once and then again. Words tangled on her tongue.

            “Anyway, good luck tomorrow, Erza. I’m sure you’ll do great!” Simon stepped past her and sauntered down the wide hallway slowly filling with students.


	4. Chapter 4

            Jellal’s fingers drummed on his knee in a pattern contradictory to the music coming from the speakers. The parking lot was nearly empty with still no sign of Erza. She never took so long after a game – even when that game ended in embarrassing defeat. His fingers fell out of time and he glanced at the clock. With every passing minute the evening derailed further. He needed to take his second pill, that he’d already missed before the game even started, but wanted to wait until he could eat something. And he couldn’t eat something until Erza finished changing.

            “Something’s wrong,” he muttered, digging in the console for his phone. He sent her a text message but got no reply. Not even a read receipt. “Fuck this.” Jellal stuffed his keys in his pocket and slid out of the driver’s seat of his truck. He crossed the lot at a light jog and managed to grab the gym door just before it closed behind a janitor.

            “You supposed to be in here?” the man asked with an uninterested glance over his shoulder.

            “My girlfriend hasn’t come out yet.”

            “Eh.” He glanced at his wristwatch. “Game’s been over for a while. You sure she didn’t catch another ride?”

            “I’m sure.” Jellal knew Erza didn’t have another ride. In fact, the only reason her mother didn’t pitch a fit about volleyball was because she had _him_ as a ride.

            “Don’t make a mess, kid. And hurry up.”

            “Right,” Jellal said sheepishly, heading for the locker rooms. “I’ll just be a minute.”

            The hallway was half dark and empty. Jellal found the door painted red for girls unlocked. He leaned beyond the doorframe, uncomfortable with being in an area he wasn’t technically allowed, and called out.

            “Erza?” He thought he heard a noise but wasn’t completely sure. “Erza, are you still in here?”

            A soft sniffle could definitely be heard. Jellal sighed and slipped through the door. The girls’ locker room was almost exactly like the boys’ and the mystique of gender-restricted areas immediately lost its shine.

            “Erza?”

            Jellal passed row after row of red lockers before reaching the tiled shower area. His relief at finding Erza on a bench opposite the curtained stalls was short lived. Her hair hung wet about her shoulders, and her socked feet had been stuffed into untied sneakers. She slumped against the wall and didn’t react to his presence at all.

            “Erza? What’s the matter?” Jellal crossed the floor and took a seat beside her on the bench.

            “Nothing.”

            “Is this about the game?” He gathered her wet hair over one shoulder. “You can’t win them all. It was an off night. So what?”

            Erza turned to face him and pursed her lips. “Why have you been forgetting condoms?”

            Jellal blinked. “What?”

            _“Condoms,_ Jellal. They’re important. You’ve never been so careless before. Why now?”

            “I don’t know.” He tried to shrug casually but the movement felt forced. Her question threw him _completely_ off guard. “I don’t really have an excuse, I guess. Are you still mad about the other day?”

            “When you came over this week you said you had one but you didn’t.”

            Jellal’s face fell into a frown and he sighed. “Erza, I’m gonna need you to give me a hint here. Did you make me come looking for you because I forgot condoms a few times? Because we could’ve had this discussion in the truck.”

            “Are you fucking Lisanna Strauss?”

            His mouth dropped open. _“What?”_

            “Never mind.” Erza stood suddenly and grabbed her bag. She took three steps across the floor before nearly tripping on her untied shoelaces.

            “No,” Jellal blurted, grabbing her elbow. “No, you don’t get to ask me some wild shit like that and then just walk away. What the fuck do you mean _am I fucking Lisanna Strauss?”_

            Erza spun around and her cheeks were an angry pink but her eyes were wet. She dropped her bag and dug out her phone. After a moment of awkward fumbling she held it not two inches from his face.

            “Explain this.”

            Jellal took the phone and glanced at her once more before inspecting the photo album. There were at least ten pictures of him and Lisanna. Some were in the library but most were of his truck parked in front of the Strauss residence. The last was of them both on the front porch late Tuesday afternoon. Lisanna had his laptop sitting on her thighs and he sat beside her while leaning in very close.

            “What _about_ it?” Jellal demanded. “What the fuck is all this?”

            “Somebody sent these to me.” Erza snatched her phone back. “Are you fucking her? Is this why you don’t have any condoms now?”

            “Are you crazy?” Jellal hissed. “She’s Mirajane’s little sister for fuck’s sake!”

            “Why are you at her house so much?” Erza demanded with considerably less, but still very angry, steam. “Why did you mention her when you were in _my_ bed?”

            “Because I’m tutoring her!” Jellal’s words exploded from his mouth with utter disbelief. “She’s in half my classes, Erza! You _know_ this! Am I not allowed to talk about my life now?”

            “But –”

            “She’s new, and behind, and younger than everybody else! She doesn’t even need that much help, anyway, because she’s way _smarter than me!”_ Jellal huffed and grabbed Erza’s bag from the floor. He adjusted the strap across his chest and glared at her. “Can we fucking go now?”

            Jellal whirled around and took the corner out of the tiled area and walked past the rows of lockers at a pace he knew Erza couldn’t match with her untied shoes. Outside the locker room the janitor was buffing the hallway. The machine was loud enough that he didn’t hear whether or not Erza was following him. With a fair amount of guilt, he crossed the freshly buffed linoleum and entered the gym. Everything was tidy and clean – almost like there hadn’t been a crowded volleyball game an hour before.

            The sun lazed heavily on the horizon and painted everything in shades of crimson and purple. He made it halfway to his truck before Erza finally caught up.

            “I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

            “Who sent you those pictures?”

            “Does it matter?”

            “It was Simon, Erza. I already know that. I just wanted you to confirm.” Jellal tossed her bag into the bed of his truck and returned to the driver’s seat. When she joined him, her expression was sheepish.

            “You’re right,” she admitted. “It was Simon.”

            “He’s a panting jackass, Erza. Why would you believe _anything_ he says?” Jellal turned to her and pinned her with a glare.

            “He cornered me yesterday morning and I tried to brush it off.” Erza’s gaze fell to her hands. She picked at the black fingernail polish that was already chipping. “Today he sent me those pictures and –”

            “You snapped and threw the game?”

            “Yeah.” When she met his eyes again, her upset was clear. “I’m really sorry.”

            “Erza we’ve been together for _long enough._ Why didn’t you just ask me?” He tried to push back his frustration but failed. “Jesus, did you _really_ think I would _cheat?_ On _you?”_

            “I don’t know, Jellal.” She sighed and buckled her seatbelt. “I fucked up, I guess.”

            “Yeah, you did. It’s really gross that he’s following around fourteen year old girls and snapping pictures of them, too.” Jellal murmured, fishing his keys from his pocket. “You know that right?”

            “Yeah, I know.” Erza wouldn’t look at him.

            The drive to her house was mostly silent. She kept her eyes on her window and Jellal focused on the road. This late in the day he always felt either bushed or jittery – sometimes a mind numbing combination of both. When he pulled close to the curb in front of Erza’s house he _almost_ turned the car off but decided on impulse not to give her the opportunity to talk him out of his foul mood. It was selfish but he _felt_ selfish. He could hear her shifting in her seat.

            “Are we going to be okay?” Her question was trepidatious.

            “I need some space,” Jellal’s mouth said without permission of his heart.

            “Space?” she whispered. The air in the cab was thick.

            “I just can’t believe you’d trust Simon over me.” Jellal’s eyes were glued to the world beyond his windshield. “I can’t believe _you_ , Erza.”

            “I’m sorry.”

            “Not only did you take his word for it, you _sat on it._ You didn’t think it was important to tell me the guy who wants to _fuck you_ was _stalking_ me and Lisanna.” He gripped the steering wheel so tight his palms hurt.

            “Jellal –” He could hear the tears in her voice but he couldn’t look. The part of him that wasn’t quite under control had taken over. Somewhere in the very back of his mind he heard the ever-nagging whisper of common sense. He’d forgotten his afternoon meds and was riding an impulse high.

            “I’m tired, Erza.” His hand dropped to the controls on the armrest and he unlocked the doors. “Don’t forget your bag.”

            She didn’t leave right away. Instead she stared at him for a long, breathless moment before swinging the door open. He didn’t watch her leave or close the door again or grab her bag or make the short walk from the curb to the front door. Jellal was lost in breath count. He counted fifteen breaths before easing back out into the road.

            When two blocks were between himself and Erza, he reached across the passenger seat to the glove box. The orange pill bottle was easy to find but it was empty.

            _Oh,_ he remembered. _Right._

            Jellal hadn’t forgotten to _take_ his medication; he’d forgotten to remind his mother to call about a _refill_ – days ago, apparently. He slowed to a stop at a red light and scrubbed over his face with his hands. Frustration simmered. Holding onto anger over Erza hurt. It hurt a _lot._ But it hurt him _more_ that she’d even _consider_ him cheating on her with _anyone_ much less Lisanna. What kind of –

            The traffic light turned green and his foot stomped on the gas pedal. He eased off when the truck jerked forward.

            “It’s fine,” he whispered to himself. “This is fine. Just get home and talk to mom and it’ll be fine.”

            Jellal ignored the darkened windows and the open garage door and his mother’s crookedly parked Cadillac. He grabbed the pill bottle and – at the last minute – remembered his phone, too. Everything inside the house was dark except the kitchen. His mother stood beside the sink with an open bottle of white wine and something else. Something small and orange and familiar.

            “Mom?” Jellal whispered, the jittery mess in his head falling to a low roar. Anna Heartfilia spun around and smiled – it was sloppy.

            “You’re home!” she said in a teetering voice. “I was just…” Anna’s eyes flit from the wine bottle to the empty pill bottle and then to the small puddle of water on the counter where a handful of pills had turned to a powdery mess.

            “Mom,” he said with a long sigh. “What did you do?” Jellal crossed the kitchen and snatched the pill bottle. It was new. She’d remembered her own medications but not his. Of course. “You _have_ to take these, mom.”

            “They make me feel fuzzy,” she said with a slur. Anna grabbed her glass but never moved away from the sink. Jellal suspected she was trying to save a little face. He didn’t need to check the garbage bins to know the bottle on the counter wasn’t her first of the day.

            “And this stuff doesn’t?” Jellal let her keep the glass but emptied the bottle in the sink. Then he wiped up the mess of congealed anti-depressants and kept only the bottle. “We’ll tell your doctor you left them in the car and they were stolen,” he muttered. “Just put the new script on dad’s card. He won’t even notice.”

            “You’re right,” Anna said. “You’re always right, Jellal. So sensible.”

            He didn’t _feel_ sensible. He felt in pieces. Part of him wanted to leave his mess of a mother in the half-lit kitchen and run all the way back to Erza’s house and _beg_ her to forgive his earlier words. He never wanted space from Erza. _Why had he said that?_

            “I should go to bed.” Anna polished off the wine in her glass and clumsily deposited it in the sink. Jellal wished she’d broken it.

            “When you call about your prescription tomorrow, I need a refill.”

            “Okay,” she whispered. “Remind me in the morning before school?”

            “Yeah.” Jellal spun around and left her alone. He knew he should be a better son and help her to bed but he didn’t feel like it. _None_ of this was his responsibility.

            He didn’t need any lights to find his bedroom. Jellal dumped his keys and phone and empty pill bottle on his desk and fell into bed. Blue and purple light from the aquarium his dad had delivered for his tenth birthday danced on the wall. Jellal didn’t even _like_ marine biology. Someone came once a month to clean the tank and all he had to do was remember to feed his small population of fish. All the things he needed to _remember_ percolated in his head like the bubbles bouncing around in the aquarium pump.

            His schedule. His keys. His meds. His grades. The extra work he had to do just to keep afloat in advanced placement classes. He needed to be the _best_. And on time. And agile. And fast. Three thousand calories a day during the off-season and at least forty five hundred from November to February. His _phone_ so he could _keep track_ of the calories. He needed to make sure his mom took _her_ meds and didn’t drink too much – _and promise his father she wasn’t drinking too much._

            And then there was Erza. She made everything _better._ Erza made him feel like he wasn’t drowning or snapping in half. She made him feel like his mind wasn’t a wild ride of _unfocused whirling._ But he’d gone and fucked that up, hadn’t he? Or had his meds fucked that up? Maybe his cracked attention deficit disordered brain? He felt broken.

            Jellal rolled to his back and flung his arm over his pillows to the headboard cabinet where he kept anything he might need at night. The bottle of over the counter sleeping pills would leave him with a dry mouth in the morning but he needed _something._ His water hadn’t been touched since that morning but he didn’t care if it tasted stale.

            The sound of the aquarium pump saw him safely to sleep.

* * *

 

            Mirajane flushed away whatever was left of her dinner. Mornings were now her lease favorite part of the day. Everything made her sick once the sun came up. Everything swam.

            She washed her face and slicked back her hair. Her eyes got stuck on her stomach. It was too soon to look any different but Mirajane eyed her body with a harsh lens. She turned to the side and lifted her fitted practice t-shirt up under her sports bra. Nothing had changed… _yet._

            “What are you doing?” Elfman’s voice startled her so badly, Mirajane jumped. She awkwardly pulled her shirt back down and ran her hands over her still wet hair.

            “Just getting ready for school,” she said in a high-pitched voice.

            “You were sick again this morning.”

            Mirajane shrugged. “I got up too fast. Probably too much dinner. If I keep eating like a heifer at night, I’ll get as big as a house.”

            “You’ve never been sick like this. Not every morning.” Mirajane’s palms began to sweat when Elfman stepped into the bathroom and pushed the door almost to the jamb. “Are you pregnant?”

            Elfman’s question was so blunt, so _point blank,_ that Mirajane flinched.

            “What makes you think that?” she whispered.

            “That wasn’t a _no_ , Mirajane.” Elfman _never_ used her full name. She backed up and fell to the toilet seat.

            “Yes,” she whispered. “I’m pregnant.” Elfman’s mouth pressed into the flat line that reminded her _so much_ of their father. “I’m sorry I ruined everything.”

            His expression pinched. “Mira, you haven’t ruined anything. We’ll just need to reshuffle.”

            “I can’t handle another reshuffle, Elf.” She tried to swallow back her tears. “I can’t. Lisanna can’t. _You_ can’t. We need to stay the course.”

            “So you’re driving into the big city for an abortion then?”

            “Don’t say that so loud,” she hissed. “And no. We couldn’t even afford the gas money for a drive like that.”

            “Laxus can.”

            “Laxus doesn’t get a say!” Mirajane snapped. “He’s done enough!”

            “These things take two. Unless…” Elfman trailed off and his eyes burned into hers.

            “No, it wasn’t like that. Shit just happens, I guess.”

            “You should ask him for gas money. We can dip into the coffee can for the…” He gestured awkwardly toward her.

            “The abortion?” Mirajane said with a smirk. “Did you get shy all the sudden?”

            “What do _you_ want?”

            “I want mom and dad back,” she blurted. “I want to not have to worry about any of this!” Her volume was rising but so was her anger and Mirajane hadn’t ever been very good at controlling either one. “I _want_ those crooked fucking cops to _arrest_ someone!”

            Elfman sighed and Mirajane reached over to turn the cold water back on. She wet her hand and smoothed her hair again.

            “Look, whatever you choose, I’ll help. I don’t know what that looks like but you gotta make a choice. _Soon.”_

            “Yeah, I know.”

            “Talk to Laxus.”

            “Alright.”

            “I’ve got a meeting tonight with my recruiter. If we need to make a change of plans, then it’ll need to be soon.”

            Mirajane bit her lip and felt sick again. “I’m sorry, Elf. I’m sorry I’m the problem.”

            “Let’s just take things one day at a time.” Elfman turned toward the mirror and straightened the collar of his shirt. “If I’m going to take the scholarship you’ll still need to handle the custody of Lisanna by the end of January.”

            “This is my fault.”

            “No.” He glanced down at her again. “None of _anything_ is your fault. We’ll reshuffle.”

            Elfman nodded at his own reflection – as if he’d just made an important decision for the both of them – and pulled the bathroom door open. Mirajane stared into the empty space and heaved a sigh. She smoothed her hair once more before flipping off the lights. When she stepped from the bathroom and turned toward her bedroom, Lisanna was there. The world seemed to stop spinning and churn to a halt in a messy jumble.

            “Did you…” Mirajane trailed off when Lisanna shuffled back into her own room and shut the door with a softness that broke her heart.


	5. Chapter 5

            Lisanna picked at the frayed cuffs of her arm cozies. The butterfly design printed on the stretch of fabric that covered the backs of her hands was fading. She sighed and kicked her feet back and forth over the tips of bright green grass. The heels of her boots hit the low brick wall she sat with every swing. All day she’d been avoiding the rabbit hole of Mirajane but now that she was alone, Lisanna couldn’t help but replay what she’d heard.

            Mirajane was pregnant. She was pregnant and both she and Elfman were hiding it. How long had her siblings been keeping secrets from her? _And why?_ That answer, at least, was simple. Lisanna knew they still saw her as a baby in need of handholding and coddling.

            Somewhere behind her the metal clang of the school doors shutting echoed off the side of the building. Lisanna scowled. _Why_ was she _always_ the baby?

            “You ready?” Natsu asked, suddenly beside her. He planted a hand on the brick and hopped over the wall easily. “Did I interrupt some deep thoughts?”

            “Not really.” Lisanna tried to smile but Natsu could tell her fake smiles just as well as she could tell his.

            “Liar.” He stood and took her hand. “Let’s walk and you can tell me all about whatever’s in your head.”

            A real smile – the kind she couldn’t fake – stretched across her face. Her arm cozies covered most of her palms but she still felt Natsu’s fingers sliding between hers.

            “I think my brother and sister are keeping secrets from me,” Lisanna said softly, once they were free of the campus. “I heard them talking about some stuff this morning and I’m mad about it.”

            “Siblings do that.” Natsu shrugged and squeezed her hand. “Zeref gets all power trippy every time mom goes away.”

            _Goes away._ Lisanna knew what that meant. They were both old enough to know she sometimes spent days at a time in the county drunk tank.

            “He tries to tell me how I should be acting or eating or when I need to be in bed.”

            “He doesn’t have much room to be telling you any of that,” Lisanna offered softly.

            “He thinks he can because the state says he’s my guardian. It’s stupid.”

            “Not as stupid as them sending you away.”

            Natsu’s laugh carried up into the trees that lined the sidewalk. Lisanna liked to think the sound if it ruffled the leaves instead of the wind. Near the end of the block she could see Jellal’s truck already parked in front of her house. It wasn’t like him to be so early. Stuffing away her guilt for making him wait, Lisanna pulled Natsu into the grove of apple trees that separated the older section of the neighborhood from the newer homes – _newer_ meaning houses less than twenty years old. The grove hadn’t been harvested yet and fat, red apples hung from nearly every branch.

            “What is it?” Natsu asked, finally taking a serious tone. “You can tell me.”

            “Mira’s pregnant,” Lisanna said in a hushed breath. “Elf knows. Laxus knows.”

            “Wow,” Natsu said, reaching up to run his free hand through his hair. “That’s… heavy.”

            “I’m so mad she didn’t tell me!” Lisanna huffed, focusing on an apple that had fallen to the ground and would turn to rot in no more than a day or two. “We’re _sisters!”_

            “Does she know what she wants?” Natsu asked, stepping closer. “It can’t be easy for her.”

            “They were talking about an abortion,” Lisanna muttered. “I don’t know what she’s going to do. I don’t care, really. I just want to be _included.”_

            “My mom had Zeref when she was fourteen,” he whispered. “She had me two days after her eighteenth birthday.”

            “Natsu –”

            “I know Mira hurt you by not saying anything but you gotta understand how fucked she feels. It’s scary.”

            “I never thought of it like that.”

            “She’s just a kid. Like you and me. My mom didn’t have anyone and neither does Mira.”

            “She has Laxus.”

            Natsu shook his head and his eyes pinned her feet to the ground. They were the same color as Zeref’s but not nearly as menacing. Natsu couldn’t have been _truly_ menacing, not like Zeref, if he tried.

            “Laxus isn’t who she wants.” He reached up to touch a strand of silver hair caught in the wind. “She wants your mom. She wants to _not_ have this on her plate.”

            “Elf says she’s trying to be mom.”

            “She is.”

            Lisanna’s breath caught in her throat when Natsu leaned forward and touched his forehead to hers.

            “I know you’re mad,” he whispered. “But try not to be, okay?”

            “Okay.” Lisanna couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. Not when he was so close. He squeezed her fingers again and, without really thinking about it, she closed her hand around the fabric of his shirt. He’d forgotten his jacket again – Natsu never seemed to get cold. The tips of his fingers skated over the exposed skin at her elbow and her shoulder before settling on her neck.

            When he kissed her, it was a light but wild thing. Inside her chest, her heart beat frantically. The curve of her neck where his fingertips still touched her felt hot. Natsu’s lips were soft but mostly dry. She could taste her raspberry lip gloss on them by the third kiss. By the fourth kiss his fingers were in her hair and the palms of her hands were pressed into the small of his back.

            A strong gust of wind ruffled the branches of the trees and a few apples thudded in the grass. Natsu smiled against her lips and kissed her once more. This kiss was soft and barely anything at all but it sent her heart racing all over again. Lisanna cringed when her phone chimed.

            “You shouldn’t keep Jellal waiting forever,” Natsu whispered, leaving another kiss on the warm apple of her cheek.

            “Yeah, okay.”

            “I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”

            “Yeah,” Lisanna breathed. Natsu’s laugh was soft but he squeezed her hand once more before disappearing into the trees.

* * *

 

            The butterflies in Natsu’s chest scattered at the sight of a police cruiser in the driveway of his house and a uniformed officer on the porch. Zeref leaned against the open screen door and the smoke of his cigarette curled idly from the cherry. Natsu couldn’t help but notice his brother wasn’t wearing a shirt at all and his utility pants hung low around his hips. He _hated_ the way Zeref never bothered to even _try_ to be less trashy.

            Natsu ducked behind the row of unkempt shrubs on the edge of their neighbor’s property when the officer slid the brown hat back on his head and returned to his cruiser. The car rolled down the street at a casual pace, and despite afternoon glare, Natsu recognized Ivan Dreyar easily. He didn’t leave his spot behind the shrubs until the cruiser was out of sight.

            Inside, the house smelled of something heavier than cigarette smoke. Natsu’s mother was stretched across the sofa asleep, and baggies of green, sticky clumps littered the tabletop. A lumpy brick flecked with red fibers was still mostly in tact in a shallow glass baking dish. Bags of pills sat in a box on the floor with black X’s through the factory labels. Natsu’s temper flared.

            “Were you doing that shit in front of the cops?” he snapped, dropping his backpack to the floor noisily. Zeref brushed a stray hank of midnight hair from his eyes and glanced up at Natsu. His fingertips were tinged with green. Later they’d be coated in white pill powder.

            “Mom’s sleeping,” he muttered. “Try shutting up.”

            “You’re gonna wind up just like her and worse,” Natsu hissed. “Why didn’t he arrest you?”

            “You should also try minding your business.”

            “This is _my_ house, too! It _is_ my business!”

            “Go do your homework. I’m sure you have some.” Zeref tossed a baggie on the electronic scale and poked the buttons. Natsu seethed.

            “You paid him off, didn’t you? That’s why you weren’t dragged away in cuffs.”

            “Mind your fucking mouth,” Zeref said with no more emotion than if Natsu had told him he’d forgotten to brush his teeth that morning – not that Zeref had ever cared about stuff like that. Not all the time anyway. Only when he was feeling magnanimous, and that was _never_ when he was sober.

            “You should be in jail.” Natsu kicked his backpack aside and stalked into the kitchen. The pantry was nearly empty and the freezer held nothing but a bottle of his mother’s vodka still in the paper bag.

            “I’ll go shopping tomorrow after I sell these parcels off,” Zeref said blandly from the archway. He had another cigarette between his fingers. The belt at his waist wasn’t buckled. For whatever reason this bothered Natsu more than anything else.

            “You don’t think it’s shameful that we don’t get to eat unless you’re selling that shit?”

            Zeref said nothing at first. He simply eyed Natsu from behind his fringe of black hair. He took a long drag off his cigarette and blew the smoke carelessly over his shoulder.

            “You should be _grateful_ I’m not a street dealer, Natsu.” His thumb flicked over the filter and a clump of ash fell to the floor. “You should be _happy_ we don’t live that life anymore. And yet all I ever get is static from you.”

            “I should be _happy?”_ Natsu shook his head in disbelief.

            “The things I had to do to get off the bottom rung are the reason you get to stay here with me,” Zeref said around another mouthful of smoke. “They’re the reason Mom lands in county and not state every time she fucks up and gets busted doing what she does over at the truck stop. You could be a _little_ fucking grateful.”

            “You’ll have to forgive me for not throwing confetti in your face.” Natsu shoved past him and headed for the front door.

            “Where’re you going?” Zeref called from behind him. When Natsu spun around he was back at the table weighing out dime bags for his peddlers on the street.

            “To beg Mirajane for dinner,” Natsu snapped. “I’m not in the mood for paper bag vodka.”

            “I told you to stay away from that family.”

            Natsu’s hands balled into stubborn fists. “Why?”

            “Because it’s not good for us.” Zeref zipped another baggie closed. He never bought the fold over sandwich bags, no, Zeref bought the ZipLocks because Natsu knew it brushed his ego to be the guy with the fancy bags.

            _“Why?”_

            When Zeref finally glanced up, he leaned back in the chair and stared at Natsu for a seemingly endless moment. He pulled another cigarette from his pack and rolled it over his knuckles and between his fingers.

            “The first time I was trusted with a shipment and not a big bag of other small bags was…” He trailed off and tapped the filter of the cigarette on the tabletop. “Just over a year ago?”

            “Yeah, so? Get to the point.”

            Zeref’s eyes were so dark Natsu really did think them black holes that would tear anything and everything apart. “I’ve done my time for this family, Natsu. I’ve dug holes. I’ve dumped shit in the holes and walked away. If you do digging in the garden, you aren’t gonna like what you find there. Stay away from the Strauss family.”

            “You fuckin’ junkies never make any sense.”

            “Watch your mouth,” Zeref murmured, returning to his work.

            “Fuck you.” Natsu kicked open the screen door and _almost_ missed Zeref’s words.

            “If you care about that girl, you’ll leave her alone.” Natsu spun around to find Zeref still carefully pinching apart sticky, green buds. “Dragneels don’t do anything but fuck shit up for good people like them.”

            Natsu left his brother to his mood swings and headed for the park.

* * *

 

            Lucy glanced up from her plate and watched her mother watching Anna at the other end of the table. They’d had nothing but ice water for dinner but Layla seemed to be waiting for a wine bottle to appear out of nowhere. Lucy hadn’t ever thought of her mother as a lush but lately she’d been doing _all kinds_ of unpredictable things. Her eyes slid to Jellal who practically twitched in his seat. He’d eaten every bite of his dinner almost right away and now sat with his hands folded in his lap as he leaned forward to press his chest against the edge of the table.

            “How’s school?” she asked softly. Jellal looked up at her with an expression of mild panic.

            “Fine.”

            “My dad wants me to do the online homeschool thing,” Lucy whispered. “But I don’t think I want that.”

            “I couldn’t handle it,” Jellal said too loudly. His answer caught the attention of their mothers and Lucy deflated. She just wanted _something_ that was all hers – even if it was just a conversation at dinner.

            “Jellal plays varsity soccer this year!” Anna said with false enthusiasm.

            “I mostly sit on the bench,” he snapped at her. His face pinched immediately with chagrin but he didn’t take back his words.

            “All his classes are advanced placement,” Anna bragged. Lucy watched Jellal’s eye twitch. “He’s even helping that little Strauss girl. She tested right on out of middle school, I hear.”

            “Mirajane?” Lucy asked helpfully.

            “No, the other one. The baby.”

            “She’s not a baby,” Jellal said much quieter. Anna shrugged.

            “I heard about that awful business with their parents,” Layla offered. Her tone was stiff. _Everything_ was stiff. “So violent.”

            “It was the talk of the town,” Anna said with a sigh. “They never did peg anyone for it but _everybody_ knows that park is an eyesore.”

            “It’s not an eyesore,” Jellal said, sitting up straight. “It’s just fine during the day.”

            “I saw Eileen Belserion at the court house,” Layla went on as if Jellal hadn’t spoken at all. “She’s certainly come up in the world.”

            “She’s up for a judgeship this year,” Anna said, gulping the remaining water in her glass. “I personally hope she crashes that boys club over in the government building.”

            “She’s always been a shark,” Layla muttered.

            Anna heaved a fast breath and stood. As if it were the most normal thing in the world, she retrieved two of the bottles from the rack. Lucy watched her mother carefully. After a flash of what she thought for sure was hesitant judgment, Layla accepted a glass of the wine. It was a dark red and Lucy imagined Anna spilling it on the white carpet and laughing about it.

            “I’m still shocked she married that fool, Bel. He was always a loose cannon back in school,” Anna said after finishing half her glass in one go. “Do you remember?”

            “He was an absolute asshole,” Layla agreed.

            Lucy’s eyes shifted back to Jellal. He was hunched rigidly and she still couldn’t see his hands.

            “He’s still over on that military base upstate.” Anna poured herself another glass of wine. “He recruited the Strauss boy for the school up there. It’s a pretty generous scholarship.” Lucy watched Anna glance over at Jellal. “Acnologia sent Jellal a packet a few months ago. It’s collecting dust in the office.”

            “I don’t want to go there,” Jellal muttered without any real resistance. Anna laughed softly.

            “He and Eileen’s daughter –” Suddenly Jellal stood and nearly knocked over his chair. He vacated the dining room abruptly. Anna didn’t even flinch. “I think they’re having some kind of fight.”

            “Him and the Belserion girl?” Layla asked with an ever so slight slur.

            “Oh, no, no,” Anna said, leaning forward. “Eileen went and changed that girl’s name on the birth certificate. She’s Erza _Scarlet_ now.”

            “That’s so petty,” Layla said with a giggle. “Jude would shit a brick if I pulled some shit like that.”

            Lucy swallowed an annoyed sigh and followed in Jellal’s footsteps. He wasn’t in the hallway or the den, though. Instead of seeking him out, Lucy made a snap decision. Anna and her mother would probably never even notice she was gone. Lucy slipped out the front door and quickly made her way down the driveway and around the corner. She glanced back over her shoulder and before she could focus on the sidewalk in front of her, she collided with something _hard._

            “Oh!” she cried, her hands closing around wads of what felt like t-shirt cotton.

            “Whoa, there,” a voice said. “You okay?”

            “Yeah –”

            _“Lucy?”_

            Lucy stepped back and blinked. The bright smile flipped her stomach over.

            _“Natsu?”_

            “It’s been forever!” The boy she hadn’t seen since the last summer they’d spent chasing lightning bugs through the apple grove when they were eight wrapped her in a tight embrace. “What are you doing here? I thought you guys moved to the city!”

            “Uh,” Lucy couldn’t help herself. She pressed her nose into his shoulder and sighed. Despite his now harder body, Natsu was still something she thought of as _soft_. “We did but we’re back I guess.”

            “Yeah?” He finally released her and Lucy felt cold.

            “Well, me and my mom are. My dad –” She cut herself off and swallowed the lump in her throat that had been steadily growing all day.

            “Hey, it’s cool!” He smiled again and Lucy couldn’t help herself. She smiled back. “Shit happens, right?”

            “Right.” Her eyes swept up and down the street. “Hey, are you hungry?” she blurted.

            “My dinner plans fell through,” Natsu said with a forced laugh. “I’m starving!”

            “My Aunt Anna made dinner but I’m not a big fan of seafood. Is that pizza place still open? The one by the ice cream shop?”

            “Well, it’s not an ice cream shop anymore.” He winked at her and Lucy felt her face burn. “They closed that down and expanded the laundromat. But the pizza place is still kicking.”

            “I’ve got cash,” Lucy offered. When she’d known him last he’d been at the mercy of a problematic mother and mean older brother. She didn’t want to face the evening alone because of something stupid like money. “Dinner’s on me?”

            Natsu hesitated and Lucy panicked.

            “Please?”

            “Anything for you, Lucy!” His smile felt a little _too_ bright but she’d take it.

* * *

 

            Lisanna watched the sun dip below the trees and bit her lip. The longer she stayed at the park, the more her skin crawled.

            Jellal had stayed with her for what felt like an eternity explaining in outrageous detail every tiny facet of the lesson. He’d seemed like a bicycle chain a few links off track but still tried desperately to keep peddling. She might have asked him if he was okay… if her mind hadn’t been stuck on a loop of Natsu’s lips against hers.

            Once Jellal had gone home, Lisanna floated around the house in a daze. She didn’t ask Mirajane about that morning at dinner even though her sister seemed to be steeling herself for a conversation. Maybe Natsu was right. Maybe she needed to cut her sister some slack and just _be there._

            She got antsy after Mirajane pulled out of the driveway in her work uniform. Elfman was still in his room with the door shut so Lisanna took advantage of the freedom and quietly left the house.

            The autumn air was nice and she grabbed an apple from the grove as she passed by. Lisanna didn’t actually like apples but she plucked one anyway. It felt nice to be doing whatever she wanted. She hadn’t _meant_ to sit at the picnic table and wait for Natsu to maybe show up at the park but that’s what happened anyway.

            Lisanna felt heavy disappointment settle in her chest as she reluctantly accepted he wasn’t going to make an appearance. She left the apple on the picnic table and decided to take the long way home. _Technically_ she could tell Mirajane the absolute truth: she hadn’t been in the park after dark.

            The grid of streets just east of the apple grove was newer than the neighborhood Lisanna had grown up in, but not by much. She found herself crossing the block she knew Jellal lived on and then Erza’s. When the sky turned purple and the street lamps flickered on, Lisanna circled back around to head home.

            At the far end of the opposite block, Lisanna’s eyes caught on a head of golden hair she thought vaguely familiar. The heavy disappointment in her chest from before tightened into a hard ball of something she couldn’t quite name. Natsu wasn’t holding the blonde girl’s hand but they were walking _awfully_ close to one another and the smile she’d wanted to call _hers_ was plastered all over his face. They turned out of view, and when she couldn’t see them anymore Lisanna felt her eyes sting and her breath catch.

            So _this_ was jealousy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just for posterity: I know I've been fussy but I wanted to clarify some stuff I honestly can't remember if I said before.
> 
> When I started this fic I forgot MIrajane was the oldest. It can't be fixed now so for the purposes of this AU, Elfman is the oldest and is seventeen. Mirajane is sixteen, and Lisanna is fourteen.
> 
> I've also done some minor tinkering with the passage of time. I wasn't paying attention before so some small changes have been made to reflect what is taking place and when. Sorry if that was confusing before. It's been handled.

            Erza tried to keep her eyes on her own work but she couldn’t help the way her gaze slid from the books in front of her to the uncharacteristically messy boy across the library’s study area. His leg bounced under the table and his fingers slid through hair that wasn’t normally so unkempt. The capped end of Erza’s pen found its way into her mouth again as she watched him flip the pages of his text book frustratedly. Something was wrong. Jellal hadn’t been so frayed at the edges since his doctor changed his medication dosage the year before. Was he even aware of how off kilter he looked from the outside? _Surely_ his mother had noticed and was on top of it.

            She sucked in a breath and refocused on her keyboard but the backlit keys only bumped around like rubber ducks in a bathtub. Erza’s thoughts returned to the other side of the room after only a moment. Her stomach twisted anxiously. She knew better than to assume Anna was _ever_ on top of _anything._ The woman was a mostly unmanaged mess. Jellal was the one who took control of his own condition and medications. He kept a pill management app on his phone to help him remember.

            Erza scowled and glanced up again. Jellal’s mess of papers and open books looked to be slowly taking over his table. She wanted to offer him a hand in whatever was amiss but didn’t feel like she had any right. Certainly not after the way she’d handled Simon’s meddling. In hindsight that entire confrontation – and the way it ended – had been her fault.

            Simon had been sniffing around her porch for _years._ They used to be _friends._ She, Simon, and Jellal played together nearly every day but that friendship had fallen apart even before she and Jellal began dating in the seventh grade. Unlike Jellal, Simon had a jealous streak that manifested in alarming ways. To his credit, Jellal never pissed on her leg or suffocated her with unwanted displays of affection or ownership. In fact, Jellal never once stepped in to throw his dick around when Simon pestered her. He let her handle any awkward confrontations in her own way.

            Given Jellal’s _usually_ smooth feathers, Erza never considered that Simon’s outrageous advances might bother him. She never questioned whether or not he worried she’d one day return Simon’s affections and possibly break up with him – or _worse,_ cheat! Had she thought of Jellal’s feelings _at all_ she might not have stewed over those horrible, and ultimately meaningless, photos. Instead, she lost every last one of her crackers and upset him to the point of demanding _space._

            As it turns out, _space_ hurt a _lot._ Erza _hated_ space. She needed to repair the rift between them but she also knew better than to push Jellal when he didn’t want to be pushed. He’d always been a pragmatic and methodical boy – almost to a fault… which is why his recent behavior was so concerning.

            Erza tapped her fingers on the tabletop watching Jellal try and focus on his work. It was painful.

            _“Erza!”_ Mirajane’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

            “What?”

            Mirajane shook her head incredulously. “Can you stop tapping your fingers? It’s annoying.”

            Erza pulled her hands into her lap, embarrassed. Mirajane had been more snappish than usual lately but she wasn’t out of line.

            “I think something’s wrong with Jellal,” she whispered.

            “You should ask him about it, then,” Mirajane murmured, distracted.

            “I can’t.”

            “Why not? You two are practically married.”

            “We’re _not_ married,” Erza hissed. “Sixteen is too early for that stuff.”

            “What stuff?” Mirajane’s blue eyes snapped back up. “What are you saying?”

            “Nothing. What’s your problem lately?” Erza frowned and turned back to watch Jellal. “Look at him. He’s a mess. Something’s wrong.” Her voice was low and even though Mirajane was still glaring at her, Erza was lost in her thoughts again.

            “Why can’t you just put us both out of our misery and ask him?”

            “Because he’s mad at me.” Erza glanced at Mirajane. “I accused him of cheating.” Mirajane’s eyebrows flew up. “With Lisanna.”

            “I’m sorry,” Mirajane said with a snort. _“What?”_

            “It’s stupid,” Erza muttered. “The whole thing was fucking stupid.”

            Mirajane closed her book and leaned over the cover. “What did that conversation look like?”

            Erza sighed. “Simon sent me a bunch of pictures of him at your house with Lisanna and I let it get to me.”

            “Jellal is helping her with her classes. I can _guarantee_ you they aren’t… whatever you were thinking.” Mirajane leaned back and inspected the ends of her hair. “The only boy Lisanna is interested in these days is Natsu.”

            “Lucy’s back in town,” Erza said softly. “She and her mom were in the office this morning before the first bell.”

            “No wonder Lisanna is mopey.”

            “I never thought of Natsu as the love triangle type,” Erza said with a creeping grin. _“Scandalous.”_

            Mirajane tossed her hair over her shoulder and Erza felt a shift in the air between them. “Erza –”

            The loud knocking of wood against wood shattered the gravity of the moment. Mirajane spun around in her chair and Erza’s eyes shot back over to where the sound had come from. Simon had kicked one of the chairs at Jellal’s table into the table leg – and the expression on his face made it pretty clear he hadn’t done it on accident. Jellal stood and his hands balled into fists.

            “Watch where you’re fucking going, Mikazuchi,” Jellal said in a tone that made the tiny hairs on her arms stand on end.

            “Oh, my bad, _Fernandes,”_ Simon drawled, clapping his hand to his chest. “Did I disturb your lonely study session?”

            Jellal’s eyes were fixated on Simon. Erza’s heart thudded in her chest. She wanted to _stop this_ but felt completely helpless to do so.

            “Fuck you,” Jellal snapped back much too loud.

            “No thanks,” Simon quipped. “From what I hear you haven’t been getting too much of that lately.” Erza’s skin crawled with rage. “Or _maybe_ you got a little too much?”

            “Watch your mouth.” Jellal inched around the side of the table. Quicker than Erza could really track his hand shot out and grasped a handful of Simon’s shirt. Simon closed his fist around Jellal’s wrist and Erza watched his knuckles whiten. Jellal didn’t even flinch.

            “You’re a little edgy today, Fernandes, did you fuck up those meds of yours? Should we be worried you’ll snap on us one day?”

            _“Hey!”_ The librarian appeared at the end of the rows of tables. She was an elderly woman but her glare cut right through the testosterone. “You two knock it off before I call down to the office.”

            Without waiting for Simon and Jellal to release one another she spun on the heel of her flats and stalked off. Erza held her breath in the long moment that passed in between the librarian leaving and when Simon finally grinned sharply and let go of Jellal’s wrist. Another eternity of seconds ticked by before Jellal loosened his grip on Simon’s shirt. Simon didn’t budge an inch but Jellal quickly packed up his laptop and left all his work and books on the table.

            “Wow,” Mirajane whispered. “That was crazy.”

            “Yeah,” Erza muttered. She stood, gathered her own belongings and slid her arms through her backpack straps.

            “Are you going to –”

            “Yeah.” Erza forgot all about whatever Mirajane had been about to say before the _almost_ fight broke out and wove through the tables to where Jellal had been sitting – and where Simon still stood.

            “You should be thanking me, Erza,” he said in an amicable tone. “An unstable guy like that could turn on you at any moment.”

            “Fuck off, Simon.” Erza shoved past him and began to pick through the books she knew were Jellal’s and the ones that needed to stay in the library. If Simon had anything else to say, he kept it to himself. Erza hugged Jellal’s things to her chest and followed the direction he’d taken out of the library.

            The hallway was empty but she spotted a familiar pair of cleats with bright orange laces poking out from around a corner. Erza bit back a sigh and tried to rally herself.

            Jellal was hunched over his knees on the second step. Erza cleared her throat and when he looked up at her, her heart tore in half. His expression was one of helpless frustration.

            “I brought your stuff,” she whispered. “You, uh, you left in kind of a rush.”

            “Yeah.” He said nothing more so Erza knelt and neatly slid his papers and books into his bag herself. She hesitated for half a second before taking a seat beside him on the step.

            “Jellal –”

            “Don’t.” His voice was so quiet she almost didn’t hear him.

            “I’m worried about you.”

            “Don’t be.” Jellal stood jerkily and grabbed his bag. He ducked under the strap and smoothed it over his chest. Erza tried not to notice the way his hands shook. He hadn’t left her yet but she knew he was already gone. “Thanks.”

            Jellal stepped around her and took the stairs two at a time. Erza had never felt more _alone_ in her life.

            “You’re welcome,” she whispered to an empty staircase.

* * *

 

            Lisanna set aside her phone and sighed. Jellal wasn’t answering her text messages and Natsu had avoided her all day. She saw him exactly twice and he’d been with the blonde girl – Lucy, she remembered – both times. What kind of boy kissed a girl in the apple grove and then flounced? Up until that morning Lisanna would’ve never assumed Natsu to be _that_ boy.

            The full-length mirror attached to the inside of her open closet door caught her eye. Lisanna shed her jacket and stood in front of the mirror. Her silver hair – the same hair both her brother and sister seemed to wear better than her – fell from a sloppy ponytail. She tilted her head to the side and decided her short pleated skirt and leggings printed with flowers were just as childish as her layered shirts. Her boots were old and scuffed. But the _worst_ offender was the chipping glitter nail polish and her pink lip-gloss.

            “I look like a baby,” Lisanna whispered sadly. “No wonder he’s into Lucy.” She scowled at her chest that, while still of a respectable size, didn’t even fall into the same _class_ as Lucy’s. “What is _wrong_ with me?”

            Lisanna kicked a stray pair of panties with tiny tubes of lipstick printed on them into her hamper, and whirled around to throw herself into her bed. Mid-spin she froze. An idea bubbled to the surface.

            _Of course!_ The best way to keep Natsu would be to _prove_ how she was good for so much more than baby kisses in the apple grove. Natsu was _fifteen_ and clearly needed to be seduced like the mature high school boy he was. Lisanna peeked out of her bedroom and glanced down the hallway. The house was silent. A quick check through her window that overlooked the driveway was enough for Lisanna to assume she was alone.

            She took a deep breath, quietly slipped into the hallway, and grasped the knob of Mirajane’s bedroom door. Her sister was _pregnant_ which meant she probably had a treasure trove of tantalizing lingerie. Lisanna pulled open the top drawer of her sister’s dresser and dug through the rolls of socks and cotton panties. Nothing. Lisanna quickly flipped through the other drawers filled with t-shirts and athletic-wear.

            “Oh, come _on!”_ Lisanna huffed. Surely Laxus wasn’t so _easy_ that Mirajane could net him with cotton panties and sports bras! She spun around and her eyes settled on the bedside table. Inside she found an empty package of batteries and a couple of worn out paperback novels. Frustrated and disappointed, Lisanna fell backwards into Mirajane’s pillows. Her bed smelled like the lilac body spray she doused herself in after every shower.

            Lisanna sighed deeply and sat up again. Maybe she’d lost her mind. Seducing Natsu seemed ridiculous outside the confines of her bedroom. She stood and reached up for the cord that hung from the ceiling fan. It wouldn’t do to leave Mirajane’s light on. Lisanna tugged the cord and as the light flickered out a sliver of something reflective in one of Mirajane’s vanity drawers went dark. She tugged the cord again and crossed the room to open the drawer.

            _“Whoa,”_ she whispered with wide eyes. “Bingo.”

* * *

 

            Natsu almost dropped his backpack near the front door but seeing his mother fully dressed, awake, and _sober_ startled him. His hands clutched the straps and he _stared._

            “Do I look alright?” she asked softly.

            “Uh, yeah,” Natsu sputtered.

            “It’s not too much is it?” She smoothed her hair and brought the midnight black curls over her shoulder. Natsu’s chest hurt. When his mother was drunk she was predictable. He hated the reminder that she could be anything other than useless – because then he couldn’t ignore that her uselessness was a _choice._

            “No, mom,” he said awkwardly. “You look fine.”

            “I have a job interview in a little bit. Zeref said he’d drive me.”

            “Good!” Natsu blurted. “That’s great, mom.” He watched her eyes flit to the pack of cigarettes on the top of the upright piano that still sat in the corner of the living room. He didn’t know why she’d put _anything_ near the piano much less her cigarettes.

            “I’ll wait for him outside,” she whispered, leaving the pack behind.

            “Yeah, okay.” Natsu moved away from the door and headed for the hallway.

            “Oh, by the way,” his mother called after him. “One of your friends came by. She’s in your room.”

            “Friend?”

            “The pretty one with the silver hair.”

            “Lisanna is here?” Natsu whispered.

            “In your room,” she repeated. “I hope it’s okay I told her to wait there. You know how your brother is about people in the house.”

            “Right. Yes,” Natsu agreed choppily. He turned to go but pursed his lips. “Good luck with your interview, mom. You’ll do great.”

            “Thanks, love,” she whispered. The screen door shut behind her with a crack and Natsu wished she hadn’t called him _love._ She hadn’t bothered since… a long time.

            Natsu sighed loudly and faced the hallway. He needed to get Lisanna out before Zeref saw her. The floorboards beneath the carpet groaned like they always did when he walked. Natsu decided when he grew up he’d live in a house that didn’t make so much noise. He threw open his bedroom door… and _stared._ His mouth fell open.

            “Hey,” Lisanna purred from her spot on his bed. She was stretched out across the length of it wearing something… very much unlike herself. There was a lot of lace and ribbons and a _lot_ of skin.

            “Uh –” Natsu’s thoughts jumbled into an unintelligible wad of nothingness. Lisanna smiled and reached up to flick a strand of her hair out of her eyes. His gaze caught on the precarious press of her breasts against one another. Something about _that_ in particular cut through his fog. Natsu glanced back down the hallway in a mild panic and shut the door behind him. “Lisanna, you can’t be here.”

            “What?” She blinked. Probably not the reaction she was hoping for – _hoping?_ Natsu absolutely could _not_ think about whatever she was _hoping_ for by lounging on his bed like a… a… _whatever._

            “If Zeref sees you, he’s going to be _really_ angry.” Natsu grabbed his fleece blanket with the Pokeballs and Pikachus. He tried to wrap it around Lisanna’s shoulders but she only grinned and rose up on her knees.

            “Your mom said he would be gone for a while,” she whispered, touching his chest.

            “Lisanna –” She smelled like something sweet and he wanted to bury his face in it. “You _can’t –”_

            “I do what I want, Natsu,” she pressed. “What do _you_ want?”

            “I –”

            “What if I helped you figure it out?” Lisanna gazed up at him with thick, black eyelashes and a perfectly pouty mouth that somehow _glistened_ in the late afternoon sunlight. She leaned into him and kissed him with just the right amount of sweetness and _demand._

            Natsu’s mind shorted out and he could _not_ stop himself from returning her kisses. His hands fell on her lace-covered torso and his thumbs slid between the layers of lingerie at her hips to find the naked skin beneath. Lisanna’s finger hooked in the belt loop of his pants.

            “Do you want me?” she whispered against his lips.

            “Yes,” his mouth replied without thinking. The feel of Lisanna’s fingertips brushing over the skin of his stomach jarred him. He grabbed her wrist. “But we can’t,” his brain finally managed.

            “Why not?” She kissed him again.

            “Because…” Natsu’s head was still a mess of peach flavored kisses and lace against his palms. “Because we can’t.”

            Lisanna finally pulled away from him and scowled. “Is this because of Lucy Heartfilia?”

            “What? _No!”_

            “Really? Because yesterday you kissed me and it felt like it meant something and today you acted like you didn’t know me.”

            Natsu deflated. “Lisanna, I’m sorry. I kissed you because I _did_ mean it but we _can’t_ …”

            “We can’t _what?”_ she demanded.

            “I can’t talk about it. There’s some stuff with my brother and maybe the cops –”

            “What are you _talking_ about?” Lisanna pushed him aside and started throwing on her clothes. “If you regret kissing me, Natsu, you should just fucking say so!”

            “No!” Natsu felt the world crumbling around him. Lisanna tugged on her boots and glared.

            “Why’s it okay for you to hang out with Lucy and not me, then? Is it because she’s more mature than me?”

            “Lisanna,” Natsu breathed. “That’s not…” Words tangled on his tongue but he didn’t know what to say anyway. His eyes flit to the window and the sun was on its last legs. “You should go. You can’t be in the park after dark.”

            “Fuck you, Natsu,” Lisanna said with a vitriol he hadn’t thought her capable of. He let her storm past him and when the screen door slammed shut again, Natsu sank down on the edge of his bed. Zeref’s words whispered in his ears.

            _“I’ve done my time for this family, Natsu. I’ve dug holes. I’ve dumped shit in the holes and walked away. If you do digging in the garden, you aren’t gonna like what you find there. Stay away from the Strauss family.”_

            He hadn’t thought too hard about what any of it meant but the dots were too terrible to connect.

            _“If you care about that girl, you’ll leave her alone.”_

            Natsu crawled into bed and buried his face in the pillows that still smelled like her.

* * *

 

            Lisanna’s phone was vibrating in her pocket but she had no interest in listening to Mirajane bitching about her being in the park after dark or Natsu’s apologies.

            She watched the lamps flicker. The darkness twitched as if alive. Her heart raced. A low whistle floated from somewhere near the playground. Lisanna nearly stumbled on her untied boots.

            “Hey, silver girlie,” said a voice from directly beside her. Lisanna felt her breath catch in her lungs painfully. She hadn’t heard anyone approaching. The young man had sleek blonde hair and some kind of markings around his right eye. His grin terrified her.

            “Leave me alone,” she whispered.

            “I don’t think I will.” He leaned in and Lisanna watched his nostrils flare. “You smell like a peach.”

            The lamp near the picnic tables flickered out.


	7. Chapter 7

            Lisanna couldn’t get enough air in her lungs. Her breaths were shallow and her skin felt cold with terror.

            “I’ll scream,” she whispered.

            The blonde man grinned; his teeth seemed unnaturally white even in the darkness. “I hope so.”

            _“Jackal,”_ a voice called from somewhere behind her. “Leave it alone.” Lisanna inched backward. Jackal’s smile faltered.

            “Just having a little fun,” he whispered in the same deadly tone as before. Lisanna didn’t think a man like Jackal ever had to do _anything_ but whisper to get his point across.

            “She’s off limits.”

            Lisanna chanced a glance behind her. In the darkness she saw the cherry of a cigarette flare. Strands of black hair hung over dead, black eyes.

            “Who says?”

            Lisanna jumped when strange fingers touched her hair. “Stop,” she breathed pathetically. _“Please.”_

            _“I_ fucking said.” Zeref’s voice took on an edge that sent a shiver of fear down Lisanna’s spine. Not the same fear as before – this was new. _Different._ Zeref’s fist collided with Jackal’s shoulder and he finally backed away just enough for Lisanna to step around him.

            “Uh,”

            “Get home,” Zeref interrupted. His voice filled her ears like something thick and suffocating. Lisanna took off at a bolt and thought maybe she heard laughter behind her but had absolutely _no_ intention of looking back over her shoulder.

            She took the corner around the old chain link fence that surrounded the park and passed by a wall of backyard wood planked fences before she slowed to catch her breath. Lisanna’s hand closed around the pole of the stop sign. The metal was cold but she _needed_ to breath and calm her painful heart rate. Lisanna sucked in lungfuls of chilled air and tried to _will_ herself calm.

            The sound of a police siren whooping once made her jump. Lisanna whirled around and was blinded by a flash of red and blue lights. The cruiser rolled up to the curb and when the window slid down Lisanna thought she recognized the man inside but wasn’t _quite_ sure where to place his face.

            “Ah, the youngest Miss Strauss,” he said with a smile. There wasn’t anything _inherently_ frightening about his smile but Lisanna didn’t care for it. “It’s awful late for a little girl to be wandering around that park.”

            “I’m just on my way home,” she said in her strongest voice.

            “Let me give you a ride, then. I wouldn’t be able to look myself in the mirror if something happened to you.”

            Lisanna bit her lip and her eyes fell to his name badge. _Dreyar._ Oh. Of course. This would be Laxus’s father. Lisanna wasn’t exactly friends with her sister’s boyfriend but she did know Laxus and his father weren’t close.

            “If you’re scared of your sister’s reaction to you showing up in the back of a police cruiser, I’ll let you ride up front with me. Deal?” His smile was smarmy. Nothing at all like Laxus’s savage grins – the ones that turned Mirajane’s cheeks a bright pink.

            “Alright,” Lisanna finally said softly. She wasn’t sure which was worse, showing up alone or in the front seat of Laxus’s deadbeat father’s police cruiser. Mirajane would be _furious_ either way.

            She slid into the passenger seat and the leather was cold against her thighs. Her leggings had been left on the floor of Natsu’s bedroom in a heap of shame. Inside the cruiser was an entire array of technology Lisanna was unfamiliar with.

            “Buckle up,” Officer Dreyar said with a smirk. “I know it’s only a couple of blocks but humor me.”

            “Sorry,” Lisanna whispered. She clicked the belt into place and focused on the night beyond her window. What a day. What a _terrible_ day.

            Officer Dreyar said nothing. Lisanna glanced over at him briefly and the glow of the cruiser’s instruments shone on his clean-shaven face. When he pulled up to the curb in front of her house, he turned to her.

            “Well, here we are, Miss Strauss.”

            “Thanks for the ride,” she mumbled.

            “You’re most welcome, though, I really hope I won’t see you in this capacity again. It’s not safe for a girl your age out there at night.”

            “I’m fourteen,” she offered weakly.

            “Those thugs won’t care. This town has seen enough violence, don’t you think?”

            “Yeah.” Her throat tightened and her eyes stung. The adrenaline of the day was finally waning and reality stormed her gates. “Thanks again.”

            “Have a good night, Miss Strauss.”

            Lisanna didn’t look at him again. She opened the door and stepped onto the curb. Officer Dreyar flashed his lights once before pulling away and continuing whatever patrol she’d distracted him from. The red and blue light lit up the front of the house and Lisanna sighed when Mirajane’s silhouette came into view.

            The grass whispered against her boots. She didn’t know why she avoided the walkway but she did. When she reached the bottom step, she looked up to find Mirajane’s outrage etched into her features. For a long moment her sister said nothing. Already dressed in her work uniform, Mirajane finally bent down to grab her bag and shouldered past Lisanna. She crossed the yard at a clipped pace. Somehow her silence hurt more than a tongue-lashing.

            “Aren’t you going to say anything?” Lisanna called after her. Mirajane spun back around and her eyes were hard.

            “No. I have nothing to say to my little sister who doesn’t give a shit about being raped and murdered in the park where our parents were killed.”

            “Mira –”

            “I’m late to work thanks to you.” Mirajane paused and her grip on her bag tightened. “And stay the fuck out of my room.”

            “Sorry,” Lisanna whispered. She watched Mirajane throw her bag into the front seat of their family car. The door slammed as loud as only the solid metal of a car that old could. Mirajane pulled out of the driveway and the yard fell dark again.

            Lisanna exhaled heavily. She turned back to the house. Her phone started vibrating again and she ignored it. The air grew colder and wind ruffled the leaves of the tree that had always been her mother’s favorite.

            Just as Lisanna’s thoughts began to slide into something melancholy, a pair of headlights blinded her for the second time that night. These were set higher up than Officer Dreyar’s cruiser or Mirajane’s old boat. When the lights turned off, Lisanna recognized the truck immediately.

            Jellal slid his keys into his pocket made his way across the yard. Lisanna tried to compose herself. Of all the people she didn’t want to humiliate herself in front of, Jellal was at the top of the list.

            “Hey,” she managed. When he stepped into the dim pool of light from the bulb on the porch, Lisanna could see he looked about as rough as she felt.

            “I’m sorry for dropping by like this.” His eyes bounced around before they settled on her. He grimaced. “It’s pretty late.”

            “Just a little,” Lisanna said with an unintended laugh. She patted the spot beside her on the step. “Join my sad club of people who lose track of time?”

            Jellal cleared his throat and sat beside her. She felt his gaze and said nothing.

            “I… are you okay?”

            “I’m _great!”_ she blurted.

            “Are you sure? Because –”

            “Let’s see,” Lisanna cut him off in a voice that she didn’t entirely recognize. “I kissed my best friend yesterday and _today_ he acted like he didn’t know me so I thought I could fix it by _seducing_ him.”

            Jellal’s mouth fell open but he quickly snapped it shut.

            “That went _fantastic,_ by the way! He totally _didn’t_ turn me down and send me home.” Lisanna felt something inside of her snap. “I know Lucy is your cousin and I don’t hate her or blame her,” she went on, tears sliding down her face. “She’s _gorgeous_ so of course Natsu likes her more than me. It’s _fine.”_

            “Lucy?”

            “She’s so perfect with her blonde hair and boobs,” Lisanna sobbed. She felt Jellal cringe beside her. “I’m sorry, I know she’s your cousin. Did I make it awkward?”

            “Uh, no. Lisanna, look, you’re great. If Natsu doesn’t appreciate that, then it’s his problem.”

            “You think I’m great?” The question slipped out and Lisanna wasn’t in the right headspace to stop it.

            “Well, sure! You’re smart and nice and pretty –” Lisanna burst into a torrent of uncontrollable tears.

            “Mirajane hates me.”

            “I’m sure that’s not true.” Jellal awkwardly draped his arm over her shoulders. He was warm and inviting and Lisanna allowed herself to melt into his side. His jacket smelled _divine._ “She’s your big sister and cares about you.”

            “Everybody says that,” she whispered, sniffling.

            “Because it’s true. Listen, I promise none of this is because you’re undesirable. Natsu is a meathead.”

            Lisanna gazed up at him and he smiled. His dimples were the most genuine thing she’d seen all day. If a boy like Jellal promised her she was smart, nice, and _pretty_ – on a truly unthinkable impulse Lisanna touched his cheek and pressed her lips against his. Time seemed to freeze. Jellal didn’t move for what felt like an eon. Finally, he pulled back and blinked in what she realized was _utter_ shock.

            “I’m so sorry,” Lisanna gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. Tears fell from her eyes in a way she’d have classified as _ugly_ if she’d seen it on television. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

            “It’s fine!” Jellal exclaimed.

            “I didn’t mean it,” she whispered in horror. “I know you’re with Erza.” Her face _burned._ “I’m so sorry.”

            Lisanna couldn’t stop her tears. Her entire body shook with sobs. On yet another impulse she reached inside of her shirt and pulled out a wad of tissue from her bra – Mirajane’s lingerie hadn’t quite fit as well as she’d have liked. She ignored Jellal’s surprised horror at the sight of her dabbing at her face with boob tissues.

            “Do you hate me?” she said with a sniffle. “I’d understand if you didn’t want to study with me anymore.”

            Jellal sighed and squeezed her shoulder. “I don’t hate you. This is obviously a bad day for you. It’s me who should apologize for intruding.”

            “It’s fine,” Lisanna said, trying desperately to collect herself.

            “I actually came over here to apologize for blowing you off earlier today. I’m not…” He trailed off and ran a hand through his messy hair. “Ah, I haven’t been at my best lately.”

            “Are you okay?”

            “It’s complicated.” He grinned again. “I don’t have as much control over certain things as I’d like and sometimes…”

            “You drop a few balls?” She offered hopefully.

            “Yeah. Something like that. I should’ve just waited for you to text me back. Sorry. I guess we’re both impulsive tonight.”

            “Well, it’s been a day, I guess.”

            “Yeah, it has. You tried to seduce Natsu and I nearly got into a fight in the library.”

            Lisanna’s mouth fell open. _“What?”_

            “It’ll be fine.” His grin turned sad. “I’m lucky to have someone looking out for me. Even though I haven’t been very nice to her lately.”

            “Life sucks.”

            “Sometimes, yeah, it really does.” Jellal squeezed her shoulder one last time before standing. “I should go.”

            “I need to return Mirajane’s lingerie and go to bed.” Lisanna laughed for the first time that day. “I guess you didn’t need that detail, huh?”

            “Nope.” His smile was beautiful because he meant it. “I can come over tomorrow and we’ll work on some stuff. Is that okay?”

            “Yeah. Mirajane doesn’t work so she’ll be around. A rare Saturday off, I guess.”

            Jellal dug his keys from his pocket. “I’ll be by noonish, then. Text me if you need a different time.”

            “I will,” Lisanna said, standing. He waved and when he’d returned to his truck, her shoulders slumped. All she wanted was to sleep off the humiliation of the day.

* * *

 

            Mirajane was scowling at her phone again. Lisanna shifted in her seat and tried to pay attention to Jellal’s explanation of the biology lesson she had to turn in on Monday. She cleared her throat and found Jellal’s mouth to be twisted downward in the same way as her sister’s.

            “Is there something wrong?” Lisanna asked quietly.

            “Uh –” Jellal sifted through his mess of papers that took up the entire kitchen table and glanced repeatedly at the screen of his laptop. “Sorry, I’m not, uh –”

            _“Asshole,”_ Mirajane muttered. She let her phone fall to the countertop with a loud clatter. Jellal startled. “Sorry. Laxus is being a dick.”

            “Right.” Jellal got lost in his papers almost immediately and Lisanna sighed. He glanced up at her with an apologetic expression. “I’m sorry. I think I may have forgotten some things at home.”

            “Do you need to go?”

            “No, no. I can email them to you later. I just –” He scowled again in obvious frustration with himself. Mirajane left her phone vibrating on the counter and disappeared around the corner. Her footsteps on the stairs were loud. Lisanna felt _antsy._

            “Hey,” she slapped her hand on top of Jellal’s papers. “You wanna talk about whatever’s got you so rattled? This unfocused behavior isn’t like you.”

            Jellal sighed and tucked his pencil behind one ear. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m unfocused.”

            “Why?” Lisanna hadn’t known Jellal personally for very long but she’d learned that the best way to communicate with him was with bluntness.

            “Executive dysfunction,” he muttered bitterly.

            “What’s that? I know I’ve heard that term before but I don’t know what it means.”

            “It’s like…” Jellal trailed off and plucked the pencil from behind his ear. He focused his eyes on the way his fingers twirled the pencil between them like Mirajane used to twirl a baton when she was a little girl. “Imagine _knowing_ you need to do something, or handle something in a certain way, but you just… _can’t._ ”

            Lisanna quirked an eyebrow.

            “Like right now. I _know_ what I’m doing. I understand the lesson and what you need to know to complete it but my head is… well, it’s –”

            “Full of spider webs and you can’t move?”

            “Yeah,” he admitted with a grimace. “This morning I stared at my ceiling for a full hour panicking about everything I needed to do today but I couldn’t get up. It’s like being trapped in my own head.”

            He began another attempt to organize his notes but sighed and returned the pencil to his ear.

            “I’m sorry.”

            “It’s okay. Just another day in the life of having an ADHD brain.”

            “Do you take anything for it?” Lisanna asked without thinking. “I’m sorry,” she blurted. “That’s not my business.”

            “It’s fine. I have meds but –” He cut himself off in the abrupt way she was becoming used to. “There’s a problem and I can’t fix it myself.”

            “We don’t have to study today, Jellal,” she whispered. “I can figure it out on my own, I think. I have the basics.”

            “You do. I’m sorry I’m not helpful. This whole thing with Erza is starting to fuck with my head.” Jellal cringed and she thought his face flushed. “Sorry, I’m sure you don’t care about that.”

            “You can talk about it if you think it’ll help!” She laughed awkwardly. “You were very kind in listening to me last night. I don’t mind listening to you.”

            Jellal sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. He had a system of motor tics she was beginning to recognize.

            “We fought about something really stupid and I reacted _badly.”_ He glanced up at her. “Like _really, really_ badly. I want to fix it but… I… _can’t.”_

            “Executive dysfunction?” She offered softly.

            “Yeah. I think about it all the fucking time. I have this whole speech in my head but when I say it out loud, I fuck it all up. I _need_ to sort out this mess with my meds first.” Jellal nodded to himself. He seemed to be growing more and more anxious. “I can’t talk to Erza when I’m still cracked in the head.”

            “You don’t think she’ll listen?”

            “She will,” he murmured. “But after the way I’ve been acting, I think I owe her more than… well, _this.”_

            “I wish I could help.”

            “You listened to me ramble about it and that’s pretty helpful.” He smiled at her and Lisanna couldn’t help the way she smiled back. “I should get home and try to find my missing pieces.”

            “If I have questions can I text you?”

            Jellal stood and shoved his mess of notes and his laptop back into his bag. “Yeah, you definitely can. I’ll email you those other notes, too. I’m so sorry I was such a useless asshole today.”

            “It’s cool. I’m probably going to spend the rest of my day in bed watching trashy anime.”

            “Comics _and_ anime?” He grinned at her and the dimples that always left her blushing made an appearance. “You really are a nerd.”

            “Don’t tell anyone I watch anime,” Lisanna said with a groan, leading him through the living room to the front door. “I don’t need that kind of shame at a new school.”

            “Your secret’s safe with me.”

            She followed him out onto the porch and smiled. “I’ll see you on Monday morning in the library?”

            “Absolutely. I’ll look everything over. You’ll be fine.” He laughed. “I’m pretty sure you could be tutoring _me_ by this time next year.”

            “I’ll make you call me Miss Strauss.” Lisanna thought maybe she enjoyed making him laugh. His shoulders were less tense.

            “Thanks for letting me vent.”

            “Thanks for letting _me_ make a fool out of myself last night. You probably think I’m a total basketcase.”

            “Well, the tissues in your shirt were something new to me but I’m not judging you.”

            Lisanna smiled and decided he needed a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and didn’t let go until she felt him relax.

            “You’re a good person, Jellal. Even with a cracked brain,” she whispered. “Tell Erza all that stuff you told me and it’ll be fine.”

            “Maybe.” He sighed and Lisanna stepped back. Jellal dug his keys from his pocket. The sound of an engine revving in the street startled them both and Jellal nearly dropped his keys.

            “Wow, rude,” Lisanna muttered. She didn’t recognize the car but Jellal’s clenched jaw implied he absolutely _did._

            “I’ll email you later,” he said quietly. Without another word Jellal left her alone on the porch.

            Lisanna watched him go before returning inside. Mirajane was back in the kitchen frantically tapping on her phone.

            “Why did you change clothes?” Lisanna asked, gathering her workbook from the table. Mirajane glanced up at her with naked panic painted all over her face.

            “It’s nothing,” she said quickly. “I’m going to see Laxus.”

            “But –”

            Mirajane fled the kitchen. Lisanna followed her to the living room just in time to watch the front door bang against the wall.


	8. Chapter 8

            Mirajane’s boat of a car growled up the long driveway and rolled to a stop just beyond the garage. He’d washed his hands and tried to tidy things but there wasn’t much to be done about the mess. She stepped out of the car and brought with her a cloud of lilac. The clang of the door slamming shut disturbed Law in the corner but the old dog let his head fall back against the cushion when he realized their visitor was only Laxus’s grouchy girlfriend.

            She stood in the mouth of the garage looking pale and unlike herself. Laxus planted his hands on his hips and tried not to go to her. Mirajane had a system of boundaries and barbwire all around her. He’d learned early on that he needed to let _her_ come to _him._ Those boundaries had all been redrawn after the death of her parents, though, and he was still struggling to adapt.

            On this particular day, Laxus was feeling petty. He understood Mirajane’s position but couldn’t quite help his frustration with her. Temporary meanness he could handle – her claws were one of the things he loved _most_ about her – but the way she’d shut him out of the situation was over the line.

            “So,” he drawled. “You’ve decided to grace us with your presence at last.”

            _“Us?”_

            Laxus jerked his chin over his shoulder. “Me and Law. We’re buddies.”

            “I only came to see one of you. The other can get fucked.”

            “You’ll hurt his feelings, Mira,” Laxus said with a smirk.

            “I meant _you.”_ She grinned but it fell away quickly. Mirajane’s eyes rolled upward and she sighed. Laxus watched her carefully. She’d never been a crier but he’d seen her cry twice now in the space of a couple weeks. “I think there’s a problem,” she whispered.

            “With the baby?” His body felt suddenly rigid.

            “No, Laxus,” she snapped. “With Law.” Her emotions got the better of her and she began to cry. Laxus crossed the garage and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

            “How do you know?” he whispered into her hair.

            “I started bleeding a bit ago and isn’t that a pretty solid sign?”

            “Was it a lot?”

            Mirajane pushed him away and wiped the tears from her cheeks. She had no makeup on to smear or run but she still didn’t like the wetness on her face.

            “Enough for me to change some clothes.” She glanced up at him and pursed her lips. “I don’t know what to do.”

            “You should see a doctor.”

            “But if I miscarry then why do I need to see a doctor? I wasn’t even showing!”

            Laxus ran his hands over his face in frustration. “Because you don’t know what’s going on in there! Isn’t it better to be safe?”

            “Women miscarry all the time,” Mirajane insisted.

            “I’m not telling you what to do, Mirajane.” She flinched at the use of her full name. “But you need to wake the fuck up. This pregnancy isn’t just gonna _go away_ because you want it to.”

            “Laxus, you don’t understand.”

            “You’re right,” he snapped. “I sure fucking don’t, but you can’t keep treating this like you have all the time in the world to make a choice. Get rid of it, keep it, whatever. But make a choice so _I_ can make plans on how to support you best.”

            “I never asked for this,” she whispered. “If mom and dad were still alive –”

            “Well, they’re not. So tough shit.” She scowled up at him but Laxus was sick of her tiptoeing. “I didn’t ask for _my_ mom to die and I didn’t ask for my dad to walk out and leave me here with Gramps. I didn’t _ask_ to get stuck caring for a stubborn old man and living off my shit wages and his disability!” He inched closer to her. “But that’s my life. And it’s happening whether I like it or not.”

            “You’re right,” she admitted. Laxus felt the wind in his sails dissipate. He hadn’t expected her to agree so quickly. “I should make an appointment.”

            “Well… _good,”_ he stammered. “Great. Find out what’s going on and then decide what you’re going to do. Just stop shutting me out, for fuck’s sake.”

            “I’m sorry. I was just –”

            “Panicking? You can panic.” He grinned. “Panic all you want. But I’m on _your_ side.”

            “Elf thinks –”

            “I don’t care what the boy who’s getting a free ride out of this town thinks,” Laxus whispered, kissing her. His hands settled on her neck and his perpetually stained fingertips slid into her hair. “It’s not his choice.”

            “Lisanna knows.”

            “Good.”

            Mirajane pulled back. “Good?”

            “She’s old enough to know.” Laxus shrugged and pulled her back against him. He retreated into the shelter of the garage when the sound of thunder rolled through the darkening clouds.

            “I’m worried about her.” Mirajane followed him to the back of the truck. She hopped up to the tailgate and touched the hem of his white t-shirt. Laxus watched her fingertips trace over the lines of the tattoo that peeked out of the waistband of his jeans – the one he wished he could remove. She knew he hated it.

            “You’re always worried about other people,” he whispered. “Do you ever worry about yourself or is that only my job?”

            “You worry about me?” She smiled and pulled him between her knees. Mirajane relaxed against his chest and he curled a strand of her hair around one dirty finger.

            Not for the first time, Laxus wondered what she was doing with him. Maybe she liked the fingerprints he sometimes left on her thighs. Maybe she liked that he was completely predictable. Whatever the reasons, he didn’t want her to ever change her mind.

            “Stay here tonight.”

            “I can’t leave Lisanna alone.”

            “She’s not alone,” Laxus insisted. “Your brother’s there.”

            Mirajane said nothing for several breaths. Finally, she smiled up at him. “Okay. What’s for dinner, then?”

            “Uh –” Laxus flushed and she laughed softly.

            “You just want a girl in the kitchen.”

            “Not any girl. Just you.”

            “You’re such a useless brute.” She leaned up to kiss him and slid off the tailgate. “Order a pizza. I’m not cooking.”

            Mirajane retrieved her phone and bag from her car and started poking out text messages. Laxus whistled for Law who followed them out of the garage and into the house just as the rain began to sprinkle.

* * *

 

            “What the _fuck,”_ Erza whispered. The photos weren’t great quality but Jellal and Lisanna were _clearly_ together on the front stoop of the Strauss residence. She squinted at the last two pictures and tried to zoom in. It _looked_ like there might’ve been a kiss involved but she couldn’t be completely sure.

            The next set of photos, as Simon claimed in his text messages, had been taken that morning. Lisanna had her arms around Jellal’s middle and he seemed to have allowed the embrace – which by itself meant nothing. His arms were at his sides. If anything illicit had happened, Erza was _certain_ Simon would’ve sent her a hundred shots of it.

            _‘Well?’_ She could hear Simon’s voice in her head as she read his texts. _‘Convinced now? Sorry you had to find out this way.’_

            _‘Fuck off. Stop stalking people. Don’t make me block you.’_

            Her response was as kind as she could be. In truth, Erza _didn’t_ think Jellal was having any kind of _thing_ with Lisanna. The poor girl was a train wreck – how could she not be – and Jellal was a very good listener and friend. But if Lisanna kissed him then…

            “Erza?” Eileen peeked into her bedroom. She was dressed in a button up shirt and a pencil skirt. Not her typical Saturday attire.

            “Are you really working on a Saturday?”

            Eileen’s mouth curved into a grimace. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I need to check on a few things if I want to enjoy my Sunday.”

            “They don’t deserve you.”

            “They don’t.” Eileen truly smiled and Erza, again, thought her mother the most beautiful woman alive. “Are you okay for dinner? I’ll leave you some cash if you want to order in. It’s about to rain so it might be a good idea to be on top of that.”

            “Thanks, mom. I may run over to see Jellal.”

            Eileen stepped into the room and leaned against the frame. “Are you two okay? Things have been awful quiet on that front these last few days.”

            “We had a stupid fight.” Erza picked at the quilting of her duvet. “It was my fault and things escalated. I’m going to try and fix it.”

            “You don’t think a phone call would be good enough? I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be out when there’s thunder rattling the windows.”

            Erza shrugged. “I don’t know if he’d take my call. It’s kind of a mess. I think…” She trailed off and sighed. “I think his meds are messed up. He’s been pretty out of character lately.”

            “Has he told his mother?”

            “Mom,” Erza said dryly. “Anna isn’t exactly on top of things.”

            “I’m sorry, my love. I know things are complicated. They almost always are.” She smiled again. “He’s lucky to have you.”

            “I feel really bad for saying all the stuff I said. I wasn’t thinking.”

            “You’ll fix it. You’re _my_ daughter.”

            “Thanks, mom.” Thunder cracked what felt like right outside her window. Erza jumped.

            “Get your jacket and I’ll drive you over.” Eileen slid her feet into a pair of heels and disappeared down the hallway.

            Erza glanced over at the window and bit her lip. She’d never been a fan of thunderstorms. Loud sudden noises reminded her of being a small child cowering under her bed as her short-tempered father, bolstered by his rank and position on the military base, would stalk through the house slamming doors and punching walls. She’d felt helpless and terrified for both herself and her mother. It had been years since Eileen had packed their things in garbage bags and left the base behind in the middle of the day but Erza would never forget the banging and pounding.

            Her thoughts rewound to the study table in the library. The sound of Simon kicking a chair into the leg of Jellal’s table made her uneasy. Watching Jellal nearly snap and radiate an uncharacteristic aura of violence still made her uneasy.

            “Erza!” Eileen called from somewhere in the house. “Are you ready?”

            “Yeah, I’ll be right there!” Erza pulled on her shoes and a hooded jacket. From her backpack pocket, she grabbed her keys. As her fingers brushed the light switch panel, Erza’s eyes caught on something orange. The small vanity table in the corner was crowded with bottles of perfume, body spray, lotions, and hair creams – but one bottle stood out. It was orange and had a white label. On impulse, Erza backtracked across the room and snatched the bottle off the table. She stuffed it into her pocket and flipped off the light.

            Eileen was quiet for the majority of the short drive to the Fernandes home. When she pulled halfway into the driveway she turned to Erza.

            “I’ll be home late. Text me if you need anything and I’ll let you know when I’m on my way home.”

            “Thanks for the ride, mom.” Erza unbuckled her seatbelt and reached for the door handle.

            “Do you think Jellal will be okay driving you home?”

            “He’d never make me walk when there’s thunder,” Erza whispered. “Even if he’s still mad.”

            Eileen left her in the driveway and Erza dashed for the covered patio. By the time she rang the doorbell, her heart was racing and her hands felt clammy – and not just because of the thunder. She didn’t want to imagine a situation where Jellal told her to leave him alone forever.

            The house remained silent and Erza panicked. She ran back out into the rain to peer around the side of the house. Jellal’s truck was parked but the house looked dark. When she returned to the patio her jacket was dotted with rain and she shivered. Erza sucked in a deep breath and knocked. She knocked _hard_ and, hopefully, _loud._

            More silence.

            She considered the consequences of just walking inside for only a moment before deciding her need to see Jellal outweighed anything else. The front door was unlocked. Jellal’s father’s money afforded his family a home in the nicest part of the subdivision and Erza braced herself for the alarm she knew they had on every door and window but none came. Erza fidgeted. The house felt empty. She should just leave but… she _couldn’t._

            Erza pulled her hands into the sleeves of her jacket and balled the wads of jersey cotton into her fists. She left the foyer behind to start on a familiar trek. Jellal’s bedroom was on the second floor at the far end of the house. It was a corner room with a tiny private bathroom and window seat. He often joked that their house was one step away from _McMansion_ status. Her shoes crushed against the carpet and Erza wondered if the house was sentient somehow and devoured any signs of life or noise.

            She paused in front of his door and rallied herself before knocking. No response.

            _“Fuck!”_ She whispered in frustration. Erza’s eyes fell to the floor and she saw a faint light trying to escape under the door but it was eaten alive by the high pile carpet. She knocked again and pressed her ear to the door. “Jellal?”

            Erza thought of the pill bottle still safely in her pocket. Even if Jellal wasn’t home she wanted to leave him the bottle. Maybe it wouldn’t be snooping if she just popped into his room and left it along with a note? Erza’s hand closed around the doorknob and when she pushed the door open she nearly had a heart attack.

            Jellal sat hunched over his desk with a pair of noise-canceling headphones on his ears. The ones she’d bought him for his fifteenth birthday. No wonder he hadn’t heard her ring the doorbell or knock. Erza cleared her throat loudly and crossed the room. She hesitated for a moment before touching his shoulder softly. He jumped and spun around in his chair.

            “Erza!” he said _way_ too loud. Jellal pulled the headphones off and she could hear the music blasting from them. He blinked and shut his laptop. “What, uh – what are you doing… here?”

            “I rang the bell,” she said quickly. “And knocked.”

            “Is Lucy gone?”

            “Uh, I don’t know.” She cleared her throat again awkwardly. “Listen, I wasn’t sure if you’d take my call so I thought I’d just come by.” Erza fumbled with the sleeves of her jacket and her pocket. Finally, she thrust the pill bottle at him. “I didn’t want to embarrass you in school,” she said in an almost whisper. “I could be wrong but… well, these are yours anyway.”

            Jellal took the bottle from her and inspected the label. His eyes flit back to her in surprise.

            “And –” Erza sighed and felt her shoulders droop. “You aren’t yourself, Jellal. You don’t get into fights, especially not with oafy fucks like Simon. I know this is an old dose, and it’s not exactly what you need but I wanted you to have it. Your mom is… well, _your mom_ and I know sometimes –”

            Erza stopped talking when he set aside the bottle and threw his arms around her in a tight embrace. Her hands came up to settle on his back.

            “Thank you,” he whispered into her neck. “I don’t deserve you, Erza.”

            “You’re right,” she murmured. “You don’t deserve a girlfriend who lets some asshole poke holes in your relationship. I’m so sorry, Jellal.” The tears were on her cheeks and his shoulder before she could even try to hold them back.

            Jellal grasped her arms and pulled away just enough to touch his forehead to hers.

            “Erza, I really, _really_ want to talk about this. All of it. I didn’t handle things very well either and have continued to be an asshole. I’m sorry.”

            “Jellal –”

            “You’re right. My mom hasn’t refilled my meds and I’m all over the place.”

            “Does your dad know?” She peered into his eyes and found a soft part of him she hadn’t seen for a long time. The part of him that felt completely lost and out of control. _This_ Jellal she knew belonged in the past before they’d put a name to his symptoms.

            “I’m afraid to tell him,” he said plainly. “If I tell him she’s drinking again and dumping her anti-depressants down the drain he’ll come home and I don’t want him to feel like he has to do that.”

            “He’s your dad, Jellal. He’s an adult. He should know what’s going on.”

            “I promised him I’d keep an eye on her. I _promised_ him –”

            “Jellal,” she whispered, sliding her hands and arms around his shoulders. _“He’s_ the adult. Tell him. Tell him because _you_ deserve to have a parent who acts like one. This isn’t your broken promise, it’s your mom’s.”

            “You’re right,” he whispered. “You’re always right.”

            Erza laughed quietly and brushed her lips over his cheek. “I think it’s a pretty equal balance.”

            “I’ll call him.” Jellal squeezed her once before stepped back. “I know we need to talk about this, Erza, but I can’t… my head’s a mess.”

            “It’s okay,” she said smoothing the collar of his wrinkled t-shirt. “We can pause that for now.” Jellal studied her face closely and Erza bit her lip. “Was there something else?”

            “Lisanna kissed me,” he blurted. Erza blinked in surprise. “I mean, she apologized right away. I was so surprised I just kind of sat there,” he went on hurriedly. “She didn’t mean it. Please don’t hate her, Erza, she’s got a lot of stuff right now and I’m sorry I can’t tell you but they’re _her_ secrets, not _mine.”_

            Erza touched the edge of his jaw with the pad of her thumb. So Simon’s pictures hadn’t been contrived. She decided she didn’t care.

            “You don’t have to tell me what’s in her closet,” Erza whispered, feeling heavy bricks slide off her chest. “You’re a good friend and I trust you.”

            “But –”

            “Simon sent me a bunch more pictures,” she whispered. “If he keeps sending them, I’ll tell Mirajane to report him to the police. I know she kissed you. And I don’t care.”

            “You don’t?”

            Erza sighed. “Lisanna needs a friend and if that’s you then… I don’t care. I don’t want to ever tell you who you can talk to or whatever.” She smiled. “Have you been keeping that on the tip of your tongue?”

            “From the moment you barged into my room, yeah,” he said with a _real_ smile.

            “My mom doesn’t want me to walk home in this rain.”

            “I can take you home,” Jellal offered, touching the still damp hair that hung over her shoulder. “Maybe you could stay for a little bit?”

            “You’re not busy?” she asked, glancing over at his laptop.

            “Nope. I finished the work I fucked up this morning with Lisanna and I was only alphabetizing my music files with new tags.”

            Erza pursed her lips. He only ever did detailed tasks like that over and over when he couldn’t focus on anything else. “Yeah, I’ll stay.”

            Jellal leaned in and kissed her. Erza’s heart pounded in her chest and she pushed him back just enough to breathe.

            “We still need to clear the air on a few things,” she whispered.

            “You’re right.” Jellal kissed her again and slid his fingers into her hair.

            “And I still want to talk about how we handle interference.”

            “Of course.” He pushed her jacket over her shoulders and it fell to the floor. Erza toed off her shoes and tugged at his t-shirt.

            “But I think for right now –”

            Jellal sealed his mouth over hers and Erza stopped talking. They could talk about all that other stuff later.

* * *

 

            Eileen tapped her fingernails on the glossy varnish of her desk and sighed. Rain pelted the windows behind her. She wished she could be _anywhere_ but the office. At least she knew Erza wasn’t home alone. It wasn’t a thing they talked about but she knew her daughter was terrified of thunder – a thing for which she blamed herself. Leaving her nightmare of a husband had been too long in coming.

            Her eyes focused on the spinning rainbow dot in the center of her laptop screen. In the big city a rainstorm would never bother the internet connection the way it did in a small town with old wiring and utilities.

            She spun around in her chair and watched the raindrops slide down the glass. Eileen reached up to pull the clip from her hair and rubbed her scalp where the clasp had dug into her skin. When she stood and kicked off her heels – a luxury she’d never dream of attempting during the workweek – she whirled around to pace the length of her office. On the second circuit she noticed the grey post crate. It stuck out like a sore thumb and she wondered how distracted she’d been before not to have noticed it.

            Eileen knelt, a difficult task in her skirt, and picked through the packages. They were all identical yellow legal envelopes. No return address. No visible postage – despite the crate with the official post office logo on the side. Her name had been printed neatly in a script she didn’t recognize. Eileen frowned and plucked one of the envelopes from the crate. She slid her finger under the seal and tore it open.

            Inside the envelope were a number of photographs of a man she recognized immediately. He didn’t have the same platinum hair his wife had managed to pass on to all three of their children but Bernard Strauss’s bright blue eyes were hard to miss. Eileen flipped through the photos. None of them were particularly noteworthy.

            Curiosity got the better of her and she tore into another one of the packages. Most of these were taken of Bernard and his wife in any number of public places, including the park where they’d both been brutally murdered. Eileen huffed in frustration and opened a third package. _These_ widened her eyes and chilled her bones.

            Bernard in his home. Bernard at the dinner table with his family. Bernard’s wife, Emma, _sleeping in their bed._ And even more of the two of them unclothed doing things most married couples wouldn’t want photographed.

            “What _is_ this?” Eileen whispered. She returned all the photographs to their envelopes and flipped through the packages again. One in particular was thicker than the others. Eileen slid her finger under the sealed flap and hissed when the stiff edge sliced open her finger. She licked away the blood before pulling out what felt like an entire ream of copy paper.

            The words were printed in what looked like old school typeset. She recognized plenty of the names. They ranged from city officials to police officers. Ivan Dreyar’s name appeared more than once along with the name _Dragneel_ and _Heartfilia._ Somewhere in the middle of the stack was a cash ledger. So many zeroes.

            Eileen held the stack of papers to her chest and stood. She fished a bandaid from her desk drawer – the one with the spare tissues, tampons, and a change of clothes for emergencies – and fell into her chair. The file had finally finished uploading but Eileen’s interest was now elsewhere. She typed out a quick text to Erza that she’d be home later than originally anticipated and started scanning over each and every page.

            _Something_ was festering in the underbelly of the small town where she’d spent most of her life and it _reeked_ of blood and dirty cash.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings! There's been a title change. Moonlight Sonata [Piano Sonata No. 14] is a work by Beethoven but wasn't named so until after his death. Critics say the piece is misleading with its romantic title and, instead, has all the character of a funeral march. Take that as you will.

            Erza left a kiss on Jellal’s shoulder before resting her head against his chest. The sound of his heart beating blurred the edges of the last few days in her mind. She didn’t want to think about Simon, his disgusting photographs or the wedge she’d allowed him to drive between her and Jellal. Yes, he’d been the one to push her away but she’d started it with her unwarranted paranoia.

            Thunder cracked outside and she tensed. Jellal’s fingers found the tangles of her hair and gently combed through them.

            “You can stay, you know,” he said softly. “You don’t have to be alone at home.”

            “I told my mom I’d be there.” Erza sat up and clutched his sheet to her chest. Jellal followed and kissed her cheek.

            “I’ll take you home, then.” His arm slid around her shoulders and squeezed. “I can stay until she gets back.”

            “I’m a big girl, Jellal,” Erza whispered, turning her face into his neck.

            “Thunder anxiety doesn’t make you a baby.” He released her and slid his legs over the side of the bed. Erza watched him pull his boxer briefs and pants back on. When he tossed her the discarded shirt from earlier she sighed.

            “Alright… I guess. I won’t put up a fight if you stay with me.” She felt her cheeks warm when he grinned at her over his shoulder.

            “It’s late but I’m going to take a half pill then we can go.” Jellal stood and left her alone in the bed, grabbing the pill bottle as he went.

            When she heard the faucet in his tiny bathroom running, she crawled out of bed. The mirror above his dresser was crowded with pictures of them together. Reason after reason why she should never have distrusted him were stuck to the glass with folds of scotch tape. Erza yanked her hair up in a messy knot of a bun and slid her feet back into her shoes.

            “Hey, Jellal? I’m going to go grab some water bottles, okay?”

            “Yeah,” he said from the bathroom. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

            Erza left his bedroom door open and headed down the stairs and through a familiar hallway toward the kitchen pantry. She tapped out a text message to her mother confirming that Jellal would give her a ride home and stay until either Eileen returned or the rain moved on. Just as she turned the corner that lead to the pantry off the kitchen, Erza bumped into something soft that smelled of lilac. Memories of floral body spray and the cautious press of lips coated with cherry lip balm assaulted her. Erza was not prepared for the unsorted nostalgia.

            _“Oh!”_ Lucy Heartfilia jumped back and clutched a big bottle of soda and unopened bag of pretzels to her chest. Erza’s mouth fell open.

            “Lucy!” she sputtered, desperately trying to get a grip on herself. “Uh, what… I mean, wow, this is…”

            “I’m so sorry,” Lucy breathed. Her cheeks flushed pink. “I didn’t know you were here. I wouldn’t’ve –”

            “This is more your house than mine,” Erza said quickly. “You don’t need to… you know… do anything different.”

            “Right,” Lucy muttered. She cleared her throat awkwardly and shifted the soda and pretzels in her arms. “So, uh, I guess you and Jellal… Not that it’s any of my business, of course! It’s just that his mom said something at dinner the other day –”

            “It’s fine. _We_ are fine, I mean. Just a misunderstanding. Or whatever. It’s fine. Complicated,” she tacked on uselessly. “But fine.”

            Erza flushed and fidgeted when Lucy finally looked her over. Her eyes caught on the messy wad of hair perched on the top of her head and the way her pants were just a little crooked.

            “Good,” Lucy clipped. “I’m glad. I think Jellal…” she trailed off and pursed her lips. “That’s not my business, really. He can handle himself.”

            “He can.”

            “It was nice seeing you again, Erza. It’s been a long time.” Lucy’s smile was tight and painful. It hurt. When she tried to edge around her in the hallway, Erza reached out to touch Lucy’s arm.

            “Lucy,” she whispered. “It’s good to see you. I mean it. I don’t want things to be weird.”

            Lucy exhaled heavily and her shoulders fell.

            “We used to be friends,” Erza said gently. “I miss you.”

            “I’m sorry I ruined it,” Lucy murmured.

            “You didn’t ruin anything. We were just –” Erza sucked in a breath and spoke impulsively. “I don’t regret anything that happened.”

            “I don’t regret it either.” Lucy sniffled but didn’t turn around. “We just –”

            “Never talked about it.”

            “No. And then my dad stopped sending me here for summers and –”

            “You never wrote me back.” Erza’s throat tightened and her eyes stung. “I thought maybe you never answered my letters because you regretted me.”

            “I’m gay,” Lucy blurted suddenly. “I mean –” She spun around and pinned Erza with a firm stare. “I figured it out when we lived up north.”

            The tension inside of her broke and Erza felt a laugh bubble up from her throat. She lunged forward and pulled Lucy into a tight embrace, crunching the bag of pretzels between them.

            “Don’t shut me out, okay?”

            “I sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I had a lot going on inside my head.”

            “I have so much to tell you, Lucy.”

            “I have things I want to tell you, too.” Lucy pulled back and Erza reached out to brush her tears off her cheeks. “Are you happy? With Jellal, I mean?”

            “I am.” Erza smiled, _really_ smiled for the first time in days.

            “I’m happy for you.”

            “Hey, do you want to come with us? He’s taking me home and staying for a bit because…” Erza trailed off. She didn’t like admitting she was afraid of something as ridiculous as thunder.

            “I know you don’t like storms, Erza,” Lucy said with a smirk. “And no, it’s fine. I’m actually taking some tests on Monday and I need to make sure I ace them. My dad is giving my mom some shit about public school.”

            “He was never very fond of you mingling with the peasants,” Erza said with a laugh.

            “Yeah, well, there’s a _lot_ of things he’s not fond of,” Lucy said with a scowl.

            “You ready, Erza?” Jellal’s voice came from the kitchen. When he turned the corner, he eyed Lucy’s soda bottle critically. “Jesus, Lucy, are you planning on staying up all night?”

            “It’s just orange soda, Jellal, and caffeine free,” she said haughtily. “I can make my own food choices.”

            “Right. Well, I’m going to Erza’s for a while. I’ll be back by nine probably and I can help you out with that calculus stuff.”

            Lucy rolled her eyes and raised her chin defiantly. “I’ll be fine.”

            “You’re stubborn.”

            “And _you’re_ an insufferable helicopter.” She smiled at Erza once more before waving Jellal off. “I’ll see you around, Erza.”

            “Yeah.” Erza watched her go with an anxious twist of her hands. Her attitude in front of Jellal was aloof but Erza knew she’d binge on the pretzels once out of eyesight. Lucy had always been a stress eater.

            “You okay?” Jellal handed her the jacket she’d left on his bedroom floor. “You seem tense.”

            “It’s nothing.” She smiled but it felt fake. Jellal didn’t know about the kisses she’d shared with Lucy over the last summer they’d had together. Maybe she was _still_ placing too much value on a span of two months at the tender age of almost-thirteen but seeing Lucy again had bowled her over.

            “It doesn’t seem like nothing,” Jellal said, wrapping a fallen wisp of scarlet around the sloppy bun on her head.

            “I’ll tell you another time, okay?” Erza leaned into him and pressed her hand against his chest to feel his heart again.

            “Is this about Lucy?” he whispered in her ear.

            Erza felt his eyes on her and when she looked up at him she _almost_ spilled everything. All her tangled feelings about boys and girls and kisses and what some people said was right and fine and normal, and what people like Lucy’s dad insisted was _wrong,_ jumbled confusingly. She pressed a kiss to his lips instead and took his hand.

            “Another time.”

            “Okay.”

            After days of wild instability, Jellal felt like the boy she’d fallen so hard for after Lucy left a hole in her heart.

* * *

 

            The light of sunrise crept through the small gap between the clouds and the tops of the trees. Thunder still shook the skies and rain pelted the earth. Laxus found his grandfather smoking a pungent blunt on the porch. Smoke curled from the tip of it and hung in the air.

            “You don’t think it’s a little early for that?” Laxus muttered, urging Law out into the covered portion of the yard.

            “Wake ‘n bake, Laxus.” Makarov coughed harshly. “The pills don’t do shit for me when it rains.”

            “I’ve got a buy lined up for today. Should be a better dose.” He glanced back at the man in the chair and thought he looked even more frail than the day before. “Hell on your liver, though.”

            “Let me worry about my liver.”

            Laxus left the dog sniffing the edge of the damp grass and flicking his tongue out into the rain.

            “How is the lovely Miss Strauss this morning,” Makarov asked, letting his head fall against the back of the chair. “She looked a little pale last night.”

            “Not pregnant, I guess.”

            “You know that for sure?”

            “No, but she’s making an appointment, _finally.”_

            “It’s for the best.”

            Laxus’s jaw twitched in annoyance. “I know that.”

            “Do you?” Makarov edged the ash from the tip of his blunt. “You were pissed when she cut you out last week. Seems like maybe you had some ideas.”

            “Doesn’t matter now.”

            “It does. You can’t let this happen again. Your mama was real young when Ivan brought her here. Her family wanted nothin’ to do with any of it.”

            “Mirajane’s parents won’t be that kind of problem.”

            Makarov was silent but Laxus wasn’t fooled. There was always _something_ with the old man.

            “You need to be careful. This town is rotten at its core.”

            “What’s that got to do with Mirajane?” Law chuffed and, finally tired of the rain, flopped down on his pillow. Laxus watched him breathing and wondered what it meant that he was perpetually surrounded by old or dying things.

            “Just keep your eyes open. Things have been too quiet.”

            “You got a source or something?”

            Makarov brought the blunt to his lips again. “I don’t need a source to feel a shift in the air, boy.”

            Laxus scowled and watched the rain patter the grass. His grandfather hadn’t answered the question.

            “Something’s gotta give,” Makarov muttered. “The cancer is spreading. What happened at the park was inevitable but the job isn’t done.”

            “If anyone touches, Mira or her little sister –”

            “That’s not what I meant.”

            Laxus waited for the old man to finish his thought but the only sound was the rain. Makarov’s blunt had gone dark between his fingers and his eyelids fluttered. With a resigned sigh, Laxus stood and grasped the hand bars on the old man’s wheelchair. The air inside the house was cooler and the scent of coffee drifted from the kitchen. He left the chair near the tea table with his paper tin, nearly empty pill bottles, and the TV remote.

            “Boy,” Makarov grunted as Laxus turned to head into the kitchen. “I meant what I said. Keep your eyes open today. Somethin’s in the air.”

            “It’s all that fucking pot smoke, Gramps. Don’t worry about me.” Laxus watched him breathing in the ragged shallow way that was becoming an everyday thing, and waited until Makarov was asleep to tuck the pink and white afghan over his lap. His mother had crocheted the blanket during her pregnancy but he’d never had the heart to actually put it on his bed. She’d been expecting a girl. Laxus didn’t like to think about all the ways his mother’s life had gone horribly wrong.

            Makarov’s sweater had been rolled up just above his wrists. Laxus scowled at the sight of his grandfather’s tattoo and tugged the sweater sleeve down. He had one just like it on his hip. One of the last things his mother had ever said to him had fell from her lips in a hushed breath.

            _“Blood is thicker than water, baby. Your granddaddy will love you when I can’t anymore.”_

            He didn’t often picture blood swirling around in fancy glass cups or beakers full of water but when the melancholy took him he always came back around to the same conclusion. Everything depended on the person doing the bleeding.

* * *

 

            Jellal’s finger hovered over his dad’s name before he finally blew out a breath and tapped the call button. He waited four rings before ending the call. His eyes flit to the pill bottle Erza had brought him the night before. As much as he appreciated her effort – and the handful of stitches they’d made in the tear between them – he knew the dose wouldn’t be enough to control his symptoms.

            His phone began to vibrate and Jellal startled. Before really preparing himself, he accepted the call.

            “Dad?”

            “I apologize for missing your call.” Acnologia’s thickly accented voice sounded completely sober and present – unlike his mother as of late. “What did you need?”

            Jellal panicked. Why hadn’t he thought out his words before calling? “Uh, well, how are you?”

            “I am well. Is everything fine there? Or have you called me for a Sunday afternoon father and son chat?” After a long pause, Acnologia laughed. “I see my humor is still a failure. English jokes often pass me by.”

            “Sorry, Dad. I’m –” Jellal sucked in a deep breath. “I’m out of my meds. All of them. I’m sorry for not calling sooner but I had a fight with Erza and I’m tutoring now and there’s just a lot happening.”

            “Is that not a thing your mother handles for you?” he asked softly.

            “Uh, yes. She does, I mean. It’s just that…” His lungs felt empty and the words were heavy on his tongue.

            “Jellal?” The question was a gentle prod but Jellal felt it like a jab.

            “She’s drinking again, Dad. She dumps her pills and goes through so many bottles. Aunt Layla is here and I thought maybe she’d get herself together but…”

            “I see.”

            “You told me to look after her and I’m not very good at it. I’m sorry.”

            _“No es tu culpa, hijo.”_

            “It _feels_ like it is.”

            “That is my misstep, not yours, Jellal. I should never have put your mother’s habits on you. The failure is my absence.”

            “Nobody’s perfect.”

            “Then why have you held yourself to that standard?” Acnologia sighed and Jellal could hear the tapping of his fingers on the keys of his laptop. “I will see to it that your prescriptions are promptly filled. If not by your physician, then by one of mine on staff here.”

            “Thanks, Dad.”

            “This is not a problem, _hijo_. As for your mother, I will handle that, as well. How are your aunt and cousin?”

            Jellal relaxed and fell backwards into the bed pillows. He felt lighter now that his dad was behind the wheel.

            “They’re okay, I guess. Lucy is starting school with me next week. Aunt Layla just kind of follows mom around. I don’t know what they do all day.” He didn’t voice his guesses. Acnologia could figure that out on his own.

            “I am happy they have found a place to stay in our home.”

            A voice interrupted the conversation and Jellal could feel the end coming. His father was head of neurology at the largest medical complex in the region. As much as Jellal wished he’d be home more often, he did appreciate the firm line Acnologia drew between his career and his family.

            “I’ll let you go, Dad. Thanks for –”

            “Thank me for nothing, Jellal. I will do a better job with these things from here.”

            “Yeah, okay.”

            “I will have my assistant notify you when the prescriptions are ready for you to pick them up.”

            The call ended abruptly and Jellal rolled over to his stomach. He pushed the phone under the pillows before burying his face in them.

* * *

 

            Laxus balled his hands in his pockets and wished he’d worn a jacket. The rain had let up just in time for him to clomp through the muddy park without getting wet but the chilled air was a nuisance.

            Zeref Dragneel needed a haircut. His midnight black hair had been thoroughly tousled by the wind but he remained visibly unbothered. He watched Laxus cross the park with no expression on his face – Laxus would call it a baby face. The guy was almost twenty but still looked just as young as Natsu. He sucked on a cigarette but flicked it aside into the wet grass when Laxus joined him at the picnic table.

            “You’re on time,” Zeref said, folding his hands together in front of him. “It’s nice to see a Dreyar breaking the old family mold.”

            “Let’s get this over with,” Laxus growled.

            Zeref watched him blankly before sighing. “I guess more than one mold left in the dust is too much for one day.” He shrugged and held out a hand. Laxus pressed a roll of twenty-dollar pills into Zeref’s palm.

            “I want the pure stuff. None of that ibuprofen shit.”

            “That stuff’s bad for your liver.”

            “Cut the lecture, Dragneel. I don’t give a fuck about your medical expertise or your wiki-degree. You said you had it.”

            Zeref shrugged and his hand slid into a pocket of his utility pants. He produced a baggie that looked to have maybe ten pills in it. Laxus fumed.

            “You’re ripping me off.”

            “This stuff is pricey and harder to get.” He held out the baggie between two fingers. “I can give you the other stuff, of course. But you’d just complain about it and it won’t make your grandpa feel any better.”

            Laxus scowled and snatched the baggie from Zeref. “Mind your fucking business.”

            Zeref tapped another cigarette from the box beside him and lit it quickly. His deep, black eyes never left Laxus’s.

            “You sure you’re not looking for a side gig? You’re real good at keeping things to the point. A lot of guys talk too much. I know you could use the cash and I’d give you a family discount.” He blew out a lungful of smoke and vaguely gestured at Laxus’s hip. “Wouldn’t it be a bit like coming home?”

            “Fuck you.” Laxus spun on his heel and didn’t look back even once. He told himself he _knew_ where his home was and it _wasn’t_ in the park pushing pills and whatever else.

            He slid behind the steering wheel and hoped Mirajane would still be at his house and _prayed_ she’d made lunch. Before he could even get the key in the ignition the flashing red and blue lights of a police car reflected off his rearview mirror. The siren blared once as a warning. Laxus didn’t need to look to know whose curled finger tapped on his window.

            “Step out of the car, please.” Ivan’s voice was damn near smug and the cuffs were cold around his wrists. “Laxus Dreyar, you are under arrest for the illegal purchase of a controlled substance.”

            He felt the impact of his body against the car door and killed the impulse to fight his father off.

            “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”

            _Fuck!_ Ivan’s hands patted down his pockets. A folded knife, a wad of cash, and the baggie pills were tossed on the roof of the car.

            “You have the right to an attorney. If you can’t afford one, one will be appointed to you by the court.”

            Laxus’s eyes found Zeref and his blood boiled. The wind tossed his too-long hair and carried away a cloud of cigarette smoke. His eyes were just as empty as ever.

            “Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?”

            His jaw flexed and his hands curled into fists. In his head he pounded Zeref’s face bloody.

            “Yes,” he ground out.

            The last thing he saw of the park before Ivan carted him away was Zeref’s back.


End file.
